Kentucky Wildcats ARE College Basketball!

Holaaaaaaa, Cheers and welcome to a very special event here at IWS Radio. Our good friend, the lovely and talented Shirley Terrell has agreed to do a special college basketball preview. Well, as you would expect, being a Kentucky fan, she just stuck to celebrating the only school that matters when it comes to college basketball...

Let me state up front and for the record that I am a lifelong, diehard, delusional, card carrying member of the BBN. For those of you who live under a rock, those three letters represent the amazing Big Blue Nation.  It is appropriate that I was ask to write a few words on the upcoming College Basketball season. I live in Lexington Kentucky. Home of the Kentucky Wildcats and yes, WE ARE COLLEGE BASKETBALL!!!  We know it. And so do you.

Before you attempt to point out the arrogance of that statement, please, don't bother. It is arrogant. Kentucky fans can be arrogant, rude, entitled and obnoxious. But we are truly a loyal fan base.

The upcoming basketball season is all anyone here in Wildcat Country can talk about (we have a decent football team this year and the growth and excitement surrounding the team is palpable). We love our football team. We favor our basketball team.  And with Kentucky picked to win the SEC and possibly play for a national title, expectations are high!  I am personally concerned with the SEC basketball conference strength. Florida will be a strong contender for 2nd in the SEC. Slick (Donovan) can coach. He's a little smarmy, but hey, his teams are always ranked. Arkansas Razorbacks are projected to finish 3rd in the SEC. I don't know why. I didn't read it. But I'm happy for Jay!

Of course there are other teams that deserve a mention. Duke, Arizona, Wisconsin, Kansas, Florida, Virginia and Louisville round out the top ten. The North Carolina Tarheels are in that top ten as well. They are not in mine. ESPN won't tell you about their 18 yearlong academic fraud investigation. The CEO of ESPN is a Tarheel alum.

The independent investigation outlines 18 years of academic fraud. Athletes attending what are referred to as "Paper Classes". Meaning of course that they are only classes "on paper". The NCAA and the University of North Carolina are also investigating. I am 100% sure that if this were Kentucky, ESPN would have reporters on every corner in Lexington. It would be the lead story on SportsCenter every hour. On the hour. There would be no end to their relentless pursuit of this story. Espn would apply so much pressure that the University and the NCAA would complete their ongoing investigation post haste. Whatever. It would be finished NOW!!!  Stop trying to minimize the tremendous levels North Carolina went to decieve us. The arrogance in which you cloak yourself as being one of THE premiere programs in college basketball is a joke. Stop it.

You are a fraud. An imposter.

A few more thoughts. The preseason polls have Kentucky fans salivating. However, we remember the 40-0 talk at the beginning of last season. Any team can be beaten on any given night. Not one single Kentucky fan I've spoken to, tweeted, etc will even utter the ridiculous 40-0 talk this season! Let’s be honest. We are not the only team that plays college basketball. We just think we are. Wait, is it arrogant if it’s true?

Lastly, for my friend Matt who gives me a hard time because my day is ruined when Kentucky loses a basketball game...I love you Matt but you really need to find a passion. Deep down inside I know you are a man of many passions. Let them shine my friend. Just let go and enjoy! The berating I will take will be worth it if inspires you to find your true passion. Mine are equality and Kentucky Basketball! See how easy that was! 

Here's to another great year of College (Kentucky) Basketball.

                                

I Know How a Wishbone Feels

Hola pill-popping Americans! We have a special treat for you guy today! Jay’s mom is has agreed to guest post! How exciting is that? IKR?! Anyway, here’s the Jaymom talking about the trials and tribulations of being caught between the pharmacy and doctor’s office trying to get her prescription right and on time. It’s not as easy as it seems …

Jaymom here! I am convinced that the leading cause of sudden death among seniors is aggravation brought on by pharmacies and doctors and their nurses who call in refills.  Talk about your vast right wing conspiracies! They’re in it together, folks. We don’t stand a chance.

When I receive a prescription that is incorrect, the pharmacy and the doctor/nurse blame each other.  They are all very convincing, which makes me feel that I am in the middle, being pulled in both directions, just like a wishbone. I have four prescriptions, and this happens with each and every one each and every time.

Nowadays, and for the past, oh, year, every time I have to have a refill that needs the doctor’s approval. I break out in a cold sweat.  Should I call Walgreens and order the refill, being sure to request a 90-day supply, and reminding them how many pills that will be, so they can fax the request to the doctor’s office and wait the requisite 24 to 48 hours (or 5-6 days) for a reply?  Or, should I call the doctor’s office first, speak to the answering machine outlining the same information, and wait 24 to 48 hours (or 5-6 days) for the okeydokey?  It really doesn’t seem to matter. In either case, it won’t be correct, and I’ll have to start all over again.  Who to call about the correction?  Again, it doesn’t matter. The pharmacy will blame the doctor/nurse, or the doctor/nurse will blame the pharmacy.

It’s an all too familiar dance and I seem to be the only one without a partner, just like the good old days of Junior Cotillion, as I held up the wall and watched the other dancers swirl around me.  It didn’t feel good then, and it doesn’t feel good now.  Only, now, I’m old and my nerves aren’t as good.  And, I get cranky easily.

Someday, like the aforementioned wishbone, I’ll snap and I’ll end up without a pharmacy or a doctor. But, I’ll have a big old satisfied smile on my still, cold face.

Jaymom

Art with Jo

Editor's Note: Today is a very special day on the IWS Blog kids. Our very good friend, the insanely talented artist Jo Seaquist has agreed to do a guest post! We thank her and hope she will come back and post again soon.


Hello friends of Jay and Matt-Man! I was super excited when Jay invited me to do a guest post because I’m such a big fan of their social work and hot goodness. Thanks Guys, it’s an honor!

Jay suggested I talk about my life as an artist, but I feel that would be best expressed through a combination of puppet theatre and fire. So instead I thought it’d be fun to share some art tips & tricks. Then you can get started being an artist too, or just impress and alienate people at social gatherings.

Making Art.

Making art can be hard. But the Modernists made it look easy, and talked about it in complex, incomprehensible ways, and it was a big hit.
Tip #4: Refer to yourself and your art as modern. Also avant-garde, experimental, and visionary.
Trick #7: Throw some paint down. Give it a totally unrelated title.

The Anatomy of Clean: yesterday showering.

Variation: Photograph an object. Give it an unrelated title. Even better is an unrelated title that seems to be related.

sex shower go

Disassociation.

Artists tend not to think like normal people. If you’re well-adjusted you can get around this by picking any random thought-phrase-adjective-gerund and using that to title your creation. Warnings are Useless.

Trick #33: Stay awake for two days. Around Hour 30 you’ll get a rush and suspect you’re having the Best Thoughts Ever. This isn’t true. But these thoughts make great titles. Out of sandwiches this is the end.

Meaning.

What does it all mean? This is an essential question for artists. In fact, I’ve asked it at least five times since starting this post. If you’re asking it now, you might already be on the artist’s path. Are there unicorns, swirls of color, and airbrushed misty-things around you? If so, that’s the wrong path. Give yourself a hard slap and try again. Pain is an artist’s friend, so slapping yourself at any point can be useful.

Slapping someone else is inconvenient because you might get arrested, but also useful because jails are interesting. I’m making this Tip #87.

Tip #9: The meaning behind your work should be personal, problematic, and ideally painful, embarrassing, or ironic. It’s genius if you can hit all of them at once.
Trick #6: Exploit the suckyness in your life. Your toxic garbage = creative treasures.

Let’s try it.

Person: What was your inspiration?
You: We all take showers. We suffer and get left by neurotic lying whores and try to move on.
Person: So it’s about how we’re all alike?
You: It’s about our literal and figurative nakedness during the act of becoming clean, and how often this daily gesture prompts us to think about shame…what we can’t wash away.
Person: Wow. That’s….SO TRUE.
You: (Say nothing. Smoke or drink or think about sad puppies.)
(Tip #42: Be present while somewhere else, like Jesus. It’s intriguing. This really worked for Jesus.)
Person: You’re a genius.

Next up is how to handle those awkward moments with naked models. Do you know what I mean? Like when they start crying uncontrollably because, well, they’re hungry.

Oh darn, we’re out of time. Time is a not-for-hire harlot.
(Trick #21 Be astonishing.)

You should go make stuff. And if you start looking like this, you've totally got it.
xo jo

Crackerville In Da House!

Howdy Ho folks!  Crackerville here. Some of you may know me by Wacky Cracky, or the Crackinator, or Sexy Cracky or my favorite, Crackerlicious. As you should recall, I was the featured guest on I’m With Stupid: The Sandwich Show episode.  That was the day I set the internets on fire and Matt-Man and Jayman made me famous! 

So, when Jayman suggested over on Twitter that maybe I could do a guest post for the IWS blog, I responded “I’m at your service!” Cause that’s just the sweet and thoughtful kind of girl I am. In fact, if you ever look at my Tumblr (WARNING: SOOOOO NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!) you’ll see that I’m a very giving girl. Besides, I was one of the first I’m With Stupid Girls. So, I’ll do damn near anything for my boys.

Anyhoodle, I thought for my sure to be award-winning post here, I would go with a little stream of consciousness blogging.  Let’s do this!  

I love the internet. I’ve met so many amazing and interesting people here. If you read my Tumblr blog you’ll know what one of them is “Sir.” He’s really taught me to think outside the box. And put things inside MY box! As Matt-Man would say “Hey-OOOOO!” 

Don’t look at my Tumblr if you’re super sensitive or easily offended. There aren’t too many people like that on the internet, except for a few mouthy bitches on Twitter who are obsessed with me. In general, I guess people with a stick up their butt shouldn’t be following me. 

Branson, MO likes to call itself the “Entertainment Capital of America” but only because I’m here. I’m entertaining as hell baby! 

I love the NFL. I especially love Peyton Manning. He better sign a new deal with the Colts and gets his hot ass out there playing. Man, that guy could send a play right through my five-hole anytime. Or drill one into my tight end. Or penetrate my defense. Or tell me to go DEEEEEEEEP! Or flicker my flea. Or run a power dive into my box. OR run a QB sneak up my middle. If you get my drift, and I think that you do.  Eli can watch cause he’s kinda nice too. 

I love summer cause I love to swim during the day and then grill out at night. And while we’re grilling I like to kick back and drink some Keystone Ice.  I like Keystone cause it’s smooth like Keith Stone. Oh, and I might do a few shots of tequila every once in a while too. That’s when things really get wild! Woo-Hoo! 

I quit smoking four months ago. Damn that was hard. I had to find a new hobby and deal with my oral fixation. Thank goodness I found Tubmlr and “Sir.”  Of course, that candle wax burned like a motherfucker though. Maybe I shouldn’t have used cheapo candles form Walmart? But, that’s the cost of being an entertainer. You have to sacrifice for your craft. Amirite? 

Boy, I sure could go for a roast beef sandwich right about now. No, not a RUSTY sandwich Matt-Man! I know what you were thinking. 

Okay kids! That’s really all I’ve got for now. Maybe I’ll be back around someday in the future. But, even if I don’t, I know you’ll remember me forever. That’s what happens when you get Crackerfied! 

And always remember kids. Crackerville loves you. <3