Maya Angelou and Sarah Palin? Hacks!!

Cheeeeeeeers and a Happy Friday to you all.

There is something that I cannot tolerate and that is, blissful accolades laid upon a recently departed person or one who is still living.

On Wednesday, it was revealed that Maya Angelou was taken away from us far too soon at the age of eighty-six.

I feel badly with the passing of anyone, but let me tell you…

As I heard of her passing, and watched the news crawlers refer to her as the “late, great, Maya Angelou” and as a “renown poet“, I was stupefied.

Marguerite Annie Johnson, yeah that’s her real name, was many things, but, she was not a poet.  Okay, yes she was because some idiotic publisher rode her “real black woman cash cow” to fame as a poet, but really?

As a poet, she sucked.

Yeah, I know she knows why the caged bird sings (allegedly), and she had her civil rights struggles (poor her), and she spent part of her life being a dance floor floozie (true dat), however…

After all of that, one Miss Margaret Johnson writes…

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Such a whore…And she wonders why the caged bird sings.  That patch of awful writing promises nothing but Barry White songs so she can do her porno dances while she spits “diamonds” out from between her thighs.

Uuuuuuch.  I have no time nor place for such ickiness.  Please go to bad poet heaven, Mizz Angelou…if that’s you real name…which we know it isn’t.

And dig it…There is a draft Sarah Palin campaign going on, on Facebook.  I don’t know if it is for U.S. Senate or President in 2016, but either way, I am sure that the people who started it and like it, aren’t very bright.

Now don’t get me wrong, I liked it myself for comedic purposes, but wow…can you really see Palin as a U.S. Senator?  Well, wait a minute…Yes I can, and no different from the rest.

What the hell was I thinking?  Oh before I go, there’s another hack that I’d like to talk about…

Edward Snowden.

You love America so much that you wanted to let her people know that they were being watched on the internet.  That’s admirable and thanks, however…

Once you let the cat out of the bag, you ran away to one of the more oppressive governments on earth. You don’t love freedom Mr. Snowden, you love your own definition of freedom, and you are a coward.

This is the Matt-Man saying, Edward Snowden is to freedom, what Maya Angelou is to poetry…Not Much.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
My Twitter Page
My Facebook Page

Greetings From Edward Snowden in Russia

Hola and привет comrades! Edward Snowden coming to you live from Moscow’s Sheremetyevo International Airport!  I’m checking in with everyone via I’m With Stupid’s blog because I know many of you guys out there are worried about me, and more than a few are hoping I die of vodka poisoning. I just want to let everyone know that I’m doing just fine hanging out here at the airport. I love airports. There’s so much to see and do here.

I'm already looking forward to having a hot, sticky Cinnabon first think in the morning. I’m addicted to those  things. This evening I had a delicious meal at the Applebee’s of pirozhki filled with some kind of meat-like substance and, I think, cabbage accompanied by a blini filled with strawberry jam. Just like home!! And of course, there was plenty of vodka. In fact, I might be drinking some vodka as I write this guest post here on IWS.

I’ve also spent a lot of time in the gift shop reading gossip magazines. I know you’re wondering if I was surprised by the Paula Deen scandal and I have to say “Hello? I’ve read her emails, remember?” In fact, just who is this mystery person who alerted the National Enquirer to this story? Hmmmmm

I’m also reading a couple of good romance novels. I don’t know how old they are, but they both have Fabio on the cover. I started to read some Robert Ludlum, but that shit hit a little too close to home, if you know what I mean.  I’ve also spent a lot of time listening to IWS Radio. Man, that NSA Employment ad just killed me! I was laughing so hard everyone was looking at me funny.

A lot of people have asked why I went to Hong Kong. That’s easy! I have a thing for Asian chicks. I’m not really that complicated of a guy. Asian chicks are just so damn cute and sweet and loving. I was really looking forward to being granted asylum and settling down with a petite Asian hottie and living the good life somewhere in Asia not called “North Korea” but, it wasn’t to be.

Why Ecuador now? Again, it’s very simple. If I can’t have an Asian chick, and thanks to the Hong Kong

government I guess I can’t, then my next choice is a Latina. Plus, I’ve always wanted to visit the Galapagos Islands and play with the Giant Tortoises there. You know those things can live 150 years or more? Crazy!

Am I a hero or a traitor? Well, if you’re a hot Asian or Latina, I’m definitely a hero. More of an international man of mystery really. I’m a notorious sexy American spy who stole … I mean, obtained a lot of sensitive intelligence documents and leveraged them into a pretty nice life of leisure. If you’re anybody else, I guess I’m just a man who was shocked … SHOCKED I TELL YOU … at the atrocities OUR government was committing in terms of invading the privacy of American citizens! That was truly my only motivation. The truth shall set you free, amirite?

Okay, so maybe I turned some of those intelligence secrets over to the Chinese government. It’s not my fault though. I thought they were going to provide me with $10,000,000 USD (and an Asian hottie) in exchange for the information. You can understand how tempting that was, right? Anyway, all I got for it was a coach ticket on Aeroflot to fucking Moscow. I was soooo bummed. The bastards double-crossed me! You just can’t trust anybody these days.

Did I also share intelligence info with the Russians? I’m still alive aren’t I? Seriously, there wasn’t even a discussion about it. I’ve seen plenty of movies and I know what they Rooskies are capable of. Besides, Putin likes to poison people … Allegedly. Doesn’t sound like a good way to go to me.

So, now everyone is updated on my well-being. Thanks to Matt and Jay for letting me post here. Sorry I hacked into Blogger and posted without telling you guys first. It’s an old habit.  Anyway, if anyone needs to contact me give my homeboy Jayman a holla. He’ll get in touch with me. I better go before the Taco Bell closes. This vodka really gets to me fast.

“Rossia - sviashennaia nasha derzhava,
Rossia - lubimaia nasha strana!
Moguchaia volia, velikaia slava -
Tvoio dostoianie na vse vremena! ….”

Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

P.S. Jay, you should probably delete a couple of those pics off your phone before you accidentally forward them to the wrong people. Just sayin’.