Oscars Fashion Report with Bonnie & Clyde

Hola y’all! Bonnie Boner and Clyde S. Dale are here for IWS with the only Oscars Fashion Report you’ll need. They’re gonna talk about who looked great and not so great on Hollywood’s biggest night.

Bonnie: Thanks so much to the guys at IWS for asking us to do the Fashion Report! We’re soooo excited, right Clyde?
Clyde: OHHH ….. MYGOD! This is the most exciting thing that has happened to me since I saw Lance Bass doing the walk of shame outside of my West Village apartment at 7 am one Sunday morning!
Bonnie: Okay, we should get started. I’M SO EXCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITED!
Clyde: Honey, you need to calm down! Although, it is nice to see you living up to your last name.

First up: Anne Hathaway…

Bonnie: I really do love Anne. I mean, she’s a truly gifted actress and a really great human being. I know that because she’s told me that she’s both of those things over and over and over. And, judging by this picture she’s happy to see me! It’s okay though I’ve seen her boobs more times than I’ve seen my own. We get it Anne, you’ve got great boobs. Thanks.

Clyde: Girl, we need to head up to San Quentin and find some guys who are in prison for a gang rape and have them hold her down and force feed her a cheeseburger. And what’s with the hair? Seriously Anne, even Daniel Day Lewis didn’t stay in character all the way to the Oscars. Let the hair grow out again and stop barfing up your dinner.

Next we have Jennifer Aniston…

Bonnie: Well, it certainly was a surprise to see Jen there. I mean, we know she isn’t there because she was nominated for anything. I guess they just took pity on her and offered to let her present. Hollywood is so full of caring people like that.

Clyde: It is, Bonnie and you’d think she would pay her friends who got her into this back by actually dressing up and at least pretending to enjoy the event. I get that she’s depressed that she’s about that age where in a few years she will have to buy a ticket, but that’s no reason to be such a sourpuss.

Okay, now we’ve got Octavia Spencer…

Bonnie: Oh dear. Well, look, Octavia is a very nice person, I met her once when I accidentally thought she was clearing tables and washing dishes at Chateau Marmot one night. It was an honest mistake.

Clyde: Yeah, and we know who was eating all of Anne Hathaway’s leftovers too! And the desserts! Hey-OOOOOOOOO!

And real quick, last one in this segment is Heidi Klum…

Bonnie: Wow! You know, I’m not saying that Heidi doesn’t look good for someone so … well, someone her age, but is it really necessary to be hanging out all over the place? God, we’ve seen those things enough anyway. And, quit pretending that they’re still naturally that firm and perky!

Clyde: IKNOWRITE? Girl, if you took those implants out and burned them that silicone would create so much white smoke they would see it all the way in Rome and think they found a new Pope already. Besides, it’s not like Heidi is actually an actress or anything like that. There’s just no reason to show up at a party to celebrate a group you’re not a part of dressed like you’re ready to sample some sausages in the back after the show Fräulein.

Okay, that’s it for the first segment of today’s Fashion Report on IWS. Be sure to stay with us through the break because when we come back we’re gonna answer the question “Which will Kristen Stewart do first? Sober up, or shower?” Also, later in the show we’ll have female bloggers from various feminist sites on to dish more fashion AND talk about what a mean, hateful, sexist, racist and misogynist jerk Seth MacFarlane is. You don’t want to miss that!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

Also, be sure to join us for I Love My Khuntry on I'm With Stupid as we talk about all the hoopla and over the top fake outrage and anger over this year's Oscars as well as other big news of the week at 11 AM ET! 

People I've Had Enough Of

Hola y’all! Man, some people are really getting on my nerves lately. Here’s a short list of the people who are pissing me off the most right now…

- People on Twitter who tweet about something awesome but don’t link to it. Cause linking to it is anti-hipster or something. Every day I see shit like this:

“OMG! Dr. Peter Wankmeoffer has written an amazing article on Gawker about the scourge of decency laws! You should read it!”
If it’s so freaking amazing then link to it! What’s even worse is if you go to Dr. Wankmeoffer’s Twitter page you’ll see that he’s RT’d all the people who have heaped praise on him, but not any links to his own damn article.

- Gorgeous women who post amazingly gorgeous pics of themselves on Social Media and say things like “Ugh! I’m such a mess today!” or “I can’t find any good pics of myself.” Jesus this is so annoying. I know! I know! I can’t say anything to them because they’re all suffering from bad self-esteem caused by skinny hot chicks on the cover of magazines and shit. So, I just let it go even though it pisses me the hell off.

- People who use their phone for virtually everything social media related but bitch about its limitations. I saw a report from CES about a watch that will notify you that you have email. The lady showing the watch off said “This way you don’t have to go to the trouble of getting your phone out if it isn’t an urgent email.” Really? Now it’s too much effort to check your phone? It’s bad enough that all these people tweet me with “Hey, can you email me that link you just tweeted? I’m on my phone” because they’re too freaking lazy to open the laptop sitting next to them.

- Anne Hathaway’s pretentious short hair. Enough already! Let your hair grow back out and stop taking yourself so God-Damned seriously.

- People debating the $1 Trillion Dollar Coin. Yeah, it might be a silly idea, but basically it’s a silly response to straight up irresponsible assholes in Congress. Worst of all are the people claiming that the government would have to mint a coin the side of the Empire State Building. Uh, you might notice that the $20 bill isn’t 20 times bigger than the $1 bill. Also, it didn’t take $100 worth of material to make a $100 moron.

And what about all the mint it would take to “mint a coin that size?” Would there be any left over for the Mint Juleps at the Kentucky Derby? Would the government use so much mint that they created a supply shortage that resulted in a huge increase in the price of mint? Nobody thought of that DID THEY?

- People who take it personally when I don’t like what or who they like. This one has always mystified me. Do you really think it’s necessary for us ALL to like the same music, movies, TV shows, etc…? How boring would that be? It just amazes me how many people get upset when I make a truthful statement like “Taylor Swift sucks.” There are always people who respond with something like “Well, I guess you think I suck too because I like her.”

No, I think your taste in music sucks, it’s not the same thing.

- Delusional sports fans who think that the only way their team ever loses a game is because the “refs cheated” or the refs were “out to get them.” Just take your ass whippings like grown-ups and shut up people!

Oh and by the way …. You had NOTHING to do with YOUR team’s win so stop taking personal credit for it.

Same goes to Southeastern Conference fans. Alabama’s BCS Championship is NOT yours, it’s theirs. If you’re a fan of another SEC school and you are celebrating Bama’s win because your team is in the same conference, you are a fucking moron.

I could go on, and on, and on. But, I won’t.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 

The IWS Babe of the Week: Anne Hathaway

A new Batman movie, the Dark Knight Rises is coming out this Friday, and as I am Batman-like I was pleased to hear that, and even more happy to hear that Catwoman would be in it.

But then I saw that Selena Kyle/Catwoman would be played by Anne Hathaway...

I'm thinking Anne Hathaway?  Does she look good in film noir?  Evidently, she does...

And she looks good in film cleeeeeee-vaaaaaaaage.....

And, surprisingly enough, Anne Hathaway looks pretty hot as Selena Kyle/Catwoman....

I dig her cleavage, but what I dig most about her is that she always seems happy and has a killer smile.  MEOW!!

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