Jayman Can Suck It

Cheers and allow me to say pedantically, “Hola.”  Ohhh, that's clever!!

Hola?  Really?  A white guy from Arkansas introduces and salutates to all by saying, “Hola?”

That’s like Adolf Hitler greeting Castro by saying, “Здравствуйте"

Anyway…My name is Sally Susman and I am the VP of policy, external affairs, and communications for Pfizer®, which is of course….

THE Big Pharma company that manufactures that magical man drug called, Viagra®.

As one who monitors and controls our communications, let me tell you.  We were so close to offering IWS Radio a 150K/year sponsorship, and then yesterday?

It seems that Jayman talked of what he would do as a benevolent dictator of this country, and you know what?

Jayman said he would kill all TV advertising of male erection medicines because those ads are “creepy.”

Well, we here at Pfizer® are largely proud of Viagra® and at this time have more than a bit of hard-on over Jayman’s comments.

It was as though he was sticking his disdain for our right to free speech up our ass, which he could never do, unless of course, he used Viagara® manufactured by us, Pfizer®.

We would like to partner with IWS Radio, however as our disclaimer states, “Those having an erection for more than fours hours, should seek medical attention…” which prevents us from doing so, because Jay and Matt have had erections for four years, and still can find anyone to relieve the pressure.

Sad, but the truth be known…

I am so glad that my company, Pfizer® has created Viagra®, because well…look at me.

I am not the most attractive person in the world, but well, I am smart, and guys dig smart chicks, right?

Ha…Yeah, on paper.  Dudes in their forties and fifties want nothing but a young looking piece of ass, and if they are going to get it up for someone like me, they need some Viagra® produced by Pfizer®.

Tell you what…I am going to ask both Jay and Matt to screw me.  And screw me without the aid of Viagra® which is lovingly and inexpensively produced by Pfizer®.

I think Jayman could do it and that would heal the wounds of his post from yesterday.

As for Matt?

He might be able to do it, but let me tell ya.  He may have imbibed some Wild Irish Rose which would crush his pecker strength, and seriously folks…As good as Viagra® is, there are some things that Pfizer® can’t fix.

Here’s to a Manufactured Hard-On,

Sally Susman

Cheers!!

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws

Matt-Man's Vote: Gary Johnson

Cheers Bitches…

As Jayman eloquently stated in print, his preference and endorsement for President yesterday was "none of the above", I, the Matt-Man am here today with my preference and endorsement as to whom I think should be President for the next four years.

Yesterday, Jayman set forth his principles and reasoning which resulted in a well-thought out de facto, “none of the above”vote, which I honor and understand, I however?

While close to doing the same, I am actually going to vote for a candidate for President of the United States.

I am going to be voting for the Libertarian Presidential candidate, former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson (R-NM).

“Wait a second Mr. Matt-Man, you say...He can’t win?”

Of course he can’t.

There’s no way in Hell he can win.

Rosie O’Donnell has a better chance of winning a non-lesbian beauty contest than Gary Johnson has winning the Presidency, however…

While some of you may consider the casting of my ballot a protest vote, I consider it more of a wake up vote.

And, I consider it my flash card to you that there exist more than two schools of political thought, or non-thought as it were, within this great nation of ours.

I hear Republicans saying, “You must be drinking the Kool-Aid.”

I hear Democrats saying, “You are sheeple.”

You know what?

They are both right, and they are both wrong in defending their own parties instead of defending and promulgating what is best for and about this great nation.

Political Parties suck.

Hell, the Libertarian Party sucks, but at least they are making waves and want to shake up this staid, political landscape.

YOU…The majority of the American electorate suck...and I am not afraid to say that.  You watch MSNBC or FOX News and listen to their bent, and then agree with an empty nod of the head, and/or a "leave me alone and let me agree" feeling .

You see?

Cable news outlets are not there for actual reporting of the news any longer; cable news is there for affirmation and validation of what you already believe.

24/7 cable news stations are your vicodin.  They are your dilaudid…They are your 5 o’clock Gin and Tonic.

And?  That’s what Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are.

They are your 5 o’clock Gin and Tonic, or if you prefer, your beer and a shot, or a glass of Pinot Grigio, or gutter wine.

They are whatever you want them to be, and they know it…and that is what they will always be.

Gary Johnson?

I agree with him and the Libertarian Party maybe fifty percent of the time, and for me, that’s enough, because my vote for him is not really about him nor the Libertarian Party.

My vote for Gary Johnson is clarion call to all of you, to think for yourself.  There are more than two parties in this country.

There are several parties, and best of all, there could be at some point, no parties, or in a perfect world...

There could be over 300 Million different parties in this country, with a myriad of ideas as to what is best for this country, and that is exactly what our country needs.

When monolithic group think is torn down, ideas spring eternal, and seriously...this land has had the tired old two party system long enough.  It's time for new ideas.

Gary Johnson is making that known, and on Tuesday, I shall join him in imparting just that, by voting for him.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws