Pete Carroll and Bill Belichick: Great Americans and Persons of the Week!

IWS is proud to announce this week’s Person(s) of the Week are Pete Carroll and Bill Belichick! These two brilliant football minds will do battle in Super Bowl XLIX! What a clash of titans this is gonna be y’all! Just check these two guys out…

Pete Carroll: An abject failure the first time he was an NFL coach, Carroll returned to the league has head coach of Seattle one step ahead of an NCAA posse at the University of Southern California. Once in Seattle, Carroll’s boyish charm and boundless energy helped propel the Seahawks to instant credibility. After paying free agent Matt Flynn QB an outrageous amount, Pete up and drafted Russell Wilson and next thing you know the Seahawks are Super Bowl champions and Flynn is nothing more than the answer to a trivia question on sports talk radio. In his spare time Carroll loves to search for proof that 9/11 was an inside job and the holocaust never happened. (Okay, I MIGHT have made the holocaust thing up. Not sure.)

Bill Belichick: Bill could not possibly be more different than Pete. Well, except for the being a cheater part. That part they have in common. Belichick was also a disaster in his first stint as an NFL coach. Of course that was in Cleveland so he kind of gets a pass for that. Anyway, his big break came when he was personally tabbed by Bill Parcels to succeed Parcels as head coach of the NY Jets. The day after accepting the job, Belichick flipped the Jets the bird and agreed to take over as head coach for the Patriots who had just fired … Pete Carroll! In his spare time Bill Belichick breaks up marriages by having affairs with married women and drinks the blood of babies. (Okay I MIGHT have made up the drinking blood of babies part.)  

So there you go! Congrats to Coach Carroll and Coach Belichick! You guys are both winners in our book!

And, don’t forget to tune into “Super Bowl XLIX: DesertSmackdown … Seahawks, Patriots and Katy Perry’s Breasts!” on IWS Radio Sunday at 12 Noon ET.