Cheers Chuckleheads and welcome to Summer 2013. A heat wave has finally hit the Greater Bagwine Metroplex as temps will be in the 90’s all week.On top of that, the owner of the locally famous and world wide infamous Beer Mine is on vacation this week so that leaves yours truly in charge of operations through this Saturday.
I feel that I should make my mark in the drive through beverage business and enact some changes while Drive-By Mikey is away.
So, The Beer Mine will be celebrating a different theme every day this week…
Monday is Free Wing Day!! If you so choose, I will, like a cannon, wing a 40 oz. bottle of King Cobra Malt Liquor at you and if you catch it, it’s yours FREE. If it shatters and forever disfigures your face, you owe me a buck ninety-two.
Tuesday is Buy One Get One Free Day!! Anything and everything we sell at The Beer Mine is two for one; of course, Tuesday is also Twice the Usual Price on All Products Day, so it’s a win-win for both myself and the patrons.
Wednesday is Hump Day!! Sometimes, I just love to give of myself and go all out for the customers.
Thursday is Thirsty Thursday!! With every purchase of $100 or more, you will receive a free dum dum sucker and a voucher for a free bottle of ice cold Ice Mountain water on your next visit.
Friday is Freaky Friday!! I know that when you come through this Friday you are going to happily stupefied when you notice upon your leaving that I have given you back then entire amount of change you were due. Sure, it’ll cut down on my “tips”, but I am willing to sacrifice for you, the customer.
Saturday is Fire Sale Day!! Why a Fire Sale you ask? Because, after working sixty-seven hours at The Beer Mine this week, I am going to torch the joint to the ground.
While you are deciding which day or days are best for you to through, you can listen to yesterday’s IWS Radio Show. Jayman and I bought on the Heatwave of Hilarity. We along with Chris Matthews, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton talked about the George Zimmerman verdict. Ed from Detroit chimed in as well.
Dusty Sandman had the traffic report, Dixie Ozark interviewed Bobby Kraft about his motion picture debut, and we capped things by talking with Mrs. Luis who is married to one of America’s newest citizen, Luis the Beer Mine Iceman. We also announced the debut of the Paul Piatt Facebook page.
If you missed it live you can listen to all of the hot hilarity right here:
Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page
9 comments:
Sweet!!! I'll be there Wednesday;)
Beth: Ohhhhhhh Yeahhhhhhh. Cheers Schmoop!!
Matt-Man
You are a marketing genius dude. I would also get rid of all that NASCAR stuff and replace it with Vampire Diaries and Taylor Swift posters.
Hope you don't get arrested on Wednesday!
Jay
Nows your chance to install AC. Put up one of those plastic strip curtains at the door along with a sign that says 'SPEAK UP'!
Jayman: I'd LOVE to get rid of the NASCAR shit, but that would constitute me getting rid of my job as well. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
Mike: Ha, that would look nice, but while he's gone, I'll shut the door to the office and open the cooler door. Voila!! Cheers Mike!!
Matt-Man
Matt, you are a genius...I wish I lived closer so I could run to the Beer Mine most every day except Saturday. Fire scares me, I'd have to skip that day.
Matt, you are a genius...I wish I lived closer so I could run to the Beer Mine most every day except Saturday. Fire scares me, I'd have to skip that day.
Jamie: No fears Jamie, I'd throw my asbestos body all over you. Cheers Jaaaaaamie!!
Matt-Man
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