2013 Celebrity Death Pool and Other Predictions

Hola y’all! Well, it’s 2013 and that means it must be time for another Celebrity Death Pool and Predictions for the New Year. Remember, I’m not saying I WANT these celebrities to die, I’m just saying I think they very well might.

Gallagher
George H.W. Bush
Fidel Castro
Nicolas Cage (this one is for me)
Betty White
Daryl Dragon 
Nelson Mandela or as he’s known in this country Morgan Freeman.  
Kirk Douglas (This will make me very sad as it will them make my impression of him in bad taste.)
Roger Ebert (Can’t wait to see all the right-wingers celebrate that. They’ll be the same ones who will be OUTRAGED at any left-wingers who say bad things about GHWB’s death.)

Dakota Fanning. (I know I say it every year, but it’s true that she’s getting into that “child star grew up too fast got into drugs and partying and OD’d” zone.)

Margaret Thatcher
Hugo Chavez 
Frank Bonner (He never responded to my very heartfelt request that he come on the show. That was probably my biggest disappointment of 2012. And for that, he must die.)

Jim Cantore (of course! One of these hurricanes is going to get him eventually. I’m guessing he’ll be impaled by a stop sign.)

Billy Graham
Fred Phelps (And hundreds of gays wearing rainbow tie-dye shirts will protest his funeral by singing “Born This Way.”)

Okay, how ‘bout a few predictions for 2013 …. 

- Taylor Swift will get married in April. Divorced in June. Married in August. Divorced in October. Yet, the media will continue to pretend that she is a pure and innocent snowflake.

- A professional athlete will leave the team he plays for and go to another. When he gets to that other team he will declare that “it was never about the money” and then tell everyone that he’s “just happy to be where he’s wanted.”

- The San Francisco 49ers will win Super Bowl XLVII and we will all be subjected to the absolute worst people on Earth. San Francisco bandwagon fans who truly the most horrible and ugly people you’ll ever come across.

- There will be a “Debt Limit Crisis” in March, then a “Financial Crisis” in May, then a “Gas Price Panic” in June, then another “Debt Limit Crisis” in September followed quickly by another “Fiscal Cliff” in October and the Mother of All “Fiscal Cliff Financial Debt Limit Crisis Panics” in November.

- Notre Dame will win the BCS Championship by a score of 9-5. Alabama will have the ball on the Irish one yard line first and goal with 2 minutes left but be unable to get into the end zone after running four consecutive dive plays right into the line. On fourth down there will be a mysterious Personal Foul call on Notre Dame giving Bama a new set of downs. They will run four more dive plays into the line and on the last play of the game will come up just two inches short of the goal line. The dramatic final sequence of plays will take place at 2:30 am as the game runs VERY late into the night because of the 8,391 commercials that ESPN will run.

- The San Francisco Giants will win the World Series and those horrible people will be unleashed upon us good, decent folks again.

- Someone you know will post “I won’t be around much for a few days as I’ve decided I need to unplug for a bit” on a social media site. That person will then proceed to post regularly or even more often than normal.

- Several people you know will announce that they’ve had it and they are deleting ALL social media. Two days later they will be back on every single social media site. Even MySpace.

- I’m With Stupid Podcast will again ascend to the top spot of the BTR rankings and this time will NOT give the #1 spot away.

Well there you go. Looks like it’s gonna be a big year!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS