Hola y’all! Arizona governor Jan Brewer has up and left the state of Arizona and while her staff appears to know where she is, they’re refusing to tell anyway. Needless to say this has a lot of people very worried. Is she sick? Is she off finding herself? Did she just wander off and get lost? Well, I’ve put together a list of places and things she could be doing that should put everyone’s at ease…
- She’s off getting an abortion because the laws in her state have made it nearly impossible for a woman to get one.
- She’s gone to Kenya in one last attempt to prove Obama isn’t a citizen before the electoral college votes.
- She’s getting a face lift. Might need an extra week.
- She’s here in Redneckville helping me put this TV stand together.
- Hiking the Appalachian Trail.
- She’s at a secret resort in Mexico with her lover, Guillermo.
- The Betty Ford Clinic. OH COME ONE! YOU WERE THINKING IT TOO!
- Klan meetings.
- Shacked up in a Washington hotel with fellow drunk John Boehner helping him with his own personal physical cliff. (Okay that one was pretty weak and I don’t know what it means either.)
- Filling in for Elena Roger for a week in Evita on Broadway.
- Getting her apocalypse bunker ready for before the December, 21 deadline.
- She’s spending the week in quiet reflection at the Dhammakaya Internation Meditation Center of Taipei.
- She bought the “undisclosed location” that Dick Cheney used while VP and is refurnishing it.
- Following the Lady GaGa tour through Russia.
- She’s “interviewing” to be Matt-Man’s intern while Schmoop is in the hospital.
- She’s taking care of Kate Middleton for a week or so while she gets over her severe morning sickness.
- She’s spending the week on the Greenpeace ship “Rainbow Warrior” heading to New Zealand.
- She’s helping Occupy Wall Street prepare for their winter assault.
- She’s gone to Disneyland!
As you can see Gov. Brewer has lots of options and is probably off doing something fun and educational or she’s out there doing good things for the world. There’s obviously nothing to worry about.
Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS
19 comments:
Governess Jan did interview for the intern position I offered, but wow, she was even too drunk for me to handle. I'm guessing the Betty Ford Center. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
Really? 19 choices? Where's number 20? THAT'S where she really is and you don't want us to know!
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She's in Eminemen's basement locked along with Dr Dre. That's how I believe the lyrics of the Real Slim Shady went?
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Matt-Man: Too drunk for YOU??? Wow! What a lush!
Jay
Mike: I did that intentionally just to bug the OCD types.
Jay
Edita: That seems pretty likely. I'm sure she's a huge rap fan.
Jay
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