It's About to Get Hectic ... For Some People

Hola y’all! Well, the election is almost a week old and it’s time for us all to move on to new things to obsess over. For most of us that will be the rapidly approaching Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa holidays. There may be a few others in there that I missed. Unless you’re the Secretary of State of Arizona cause that dude’s still got a lot of work to do since there are FOUR HUNDRED EIGHTY-FIVE THOUSAND ballots still to be counted there. What the hell are they doing out there? Working on their winter tans?

And of course David Petraeus has a few other things to worry about too. Like keeping all of his mistresses from getting into a huge cat fight. You’d think all those years of dealing with warring factions in Afghanistan would have given him the training he needed to handle some crazy chicks. Worse than that he now has to sleep on the couch with one eye open every night. You think he was already paranoid about how dangerous the world was? I guarantee you he’s far more worried about what Mrs. Petraeus might do to him.

And then there’s me. It’s not my style to brag or anything, but I don’t have to worry so much about the “hectic holiday season” like so many of you guys. I don’t have any kids (that I know of) so I don’t have to put with them asking “When is Santa coming?” every day. I don’t have a big family to buy for so I don’t need to make long lists and go on big shopping trips.

Since I never get invited to any holiday parties, I don’t have to worry about keeping my social calendar straight. Yup, I’m a simple man living a simple life. I’ll be kicked back, eating Christmas cookies and drinking Shiner Holiday Cheer Beer while you guys are wearing yourselves out trying to get everything done and juggle all your school, family and social obligations.

Hell, I even stopped sending out Christmas Cards because it was too much of a hassle. It took me all afternoon to address all the envelopes and I can still taste the glue from having to seal all of those things. I still have a Word Document with everyone’s address though. The only thing I use it for is to put your addresses into Google Street View and get a look at your houses. That’s pretty much the laziest stalking ever right there.

We’ve got a lot great stuff planned for the blog and the IWS Podcast for the holidays though. Okay, not really. I just said that because I starting to look a little pathetic there. Although I’m not sure what I’m worried about, this post is already four times longer than Matt’s post for yesterday was. Shit, I’m really worried about getting old after reading that one!

Anyway, the only thing I have on my holiday schedule is my annual trip to lovely, mysterious and exotic Omaha, Nebraska to hang out with my sister and brother in law. This Saturday, I’ll load up the car, check the air in the tires and make the 431 mile drive north to the Jewel of the Midwest for Thanksgiving week.

While I’m there and before things get crazy, I’ll do the bit of Christmas shopping that I’m not doing online. So, when I get home a week later all I have to do is get the already put together and mostly decorated fake Christmas Tree out of the closet and put it on the table and all my Christmas decorating will be done. After that, all I have to do is plan when I’m going to make the Christmas fudge and that’s it.

See? It’s a simple time of year folks.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS