Liberals

You can’t make this up folks…I was going to half-heartedly type about one thing, and then BAM…something else happened.

I was Facebooked. Yeah, I just invented that word, so?

And by Facebooked, I mean that someone other than a friend posted something to my timeline, which was this…

Anyhoo…

I was Facebooked last night by one Jim Stewart.

Oh the horror. He thought it was funny, and expected me to retort by laughing and saying, “Ha.”

Well, as for those of you who know me, I don’t play that way. I have to engage whether the perpetrator be a friend, a moron, or a dickhead.

And well, since he met the latter two of those three criteria, I had to respond. And the funny thing is, it’s not because I am a big fan of President Obama. Which my friends, drives him and his ilk, crazy, because, as they say…

“If you’re not for the Republican, you’re for the Democrat Muslim guy.”

Because I am more than left of center and make no bones about it, I am labeled a, “Liberal.”

What those who label me a “Liberal” don’t understand, is that I while I love peace and harmony in the world, I am a military nut, and want this country to have the biggest and baddest armed forces in the world.

I also love Natural Gas. This country is the Saudi Arabia of natural gas. I just want to make sure fracking to get said gas doesn’t destroy water supplies and farm fields. If it doesn’t? Frack Away America!! Frack Away!!

You know what else I like? Lower taxes. Who doesn’t like lower taxes, however…

Why can’t the government lower the rate on those making less than a million, and yes, I said a million in order to compensate for high cost areas, and raise it a few percentage points on guys like President Obama and Willard Romney?

It’s not going to hurt those folks, and it would certainly help us…well you guys anyway…for me personally, I am wealthy and need not a tax break, because I am independently rich and AWESOME!!

Can I get a shout out from the choir!!? Sorry, I digressed. Anyhoo…

Abortion. Yes, as a “Liberal”, I sit around all day thinking about new and exciting ways to kill babies. Well, that is what some on the right think.

I am actually anti-abortion, however…

If a chick gets pregnant, and cannot or will not support the zygote, or was otherwise raped, pillaged, and/or deforested by an overpowering old, gray, white guy, no overpowering, old, gray, white guy should tell her that she must have his baby…er…her baby.

See how the Libertarian in me is coming out!?

There’s plenty of other things that make me a Liberaltarian as well…

Oh your coffee was too hot and you want to sue? Denied!!

You fell off your bike and crushed your skull due to no helmet? Tough Luck!!

You smoked all these years and didn’t know it could give you cancer? Are you new!?

Why didn’t my son get a trophy? Because your son sucks and throws like a girl!!

See?

I want everyone taken care of. I want reproductive rights protected. I want the uber-rich to pay a little more, but…

On the same hand, I want folks to stand up for themselves. I want them to quit being pussies. I want them to say, “I’m gonna grow up and take life by the horns, and at least try to live the American dream.”

And if they fail, I want us as a country to be there to pick up the pieces, and if that is what being a Liberal is?

So be it.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattman@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS