Hola Great Americans and everyone else! Vice President Joe
Biden is getting a lot of credit for pushing President Obama into finally coming
out in favor of Gay Marriage. And, he does deserve a lot of credit. Maybe not
as much as IWS Radio, but he does deserve some credit. Anyway, what most people
don’t know is that Joe Biden has played a major role in many very important
moments in American History….
1620: I think something like a “Mayflower Compact” would be
a great thing to do to set a few rules and whatnot.
1752: Yo Bennie … Why don’t you go fly a fucking kite, huh?
1773: I think we should all have one more pint and then go
throw all that fucking tea into Boston Harbor.
1776: You know Tommy-Boy, if you have so damn many problems
with the Brits, maybe you should just sit down and list them all and then have
everyone sign it and mail it to the King? Aaaaaaand, if you really wanna piss him
off, you should tell him that “All men are created equal!”
1785: I don’t see any reason to admit a state that wants to
call itself “Franklin.” That’s just a stupid name. I mean, I know they’re
worried about being associated with the Carolinas, and what those people might
do in the future, but still, I wouldn’t accept their application for admission
into the union.
1789: Oh I’m definitely running for President, and I think I
can beat this George Washington guy.
1789: BTW, we need a Constitution. That’s a pretty big
fucking deal, yanno?
1791: I’m completely comfortable with a “Bill of Rights.” I
think it’s necessary.
1803: I’m not much of a shopper, but I would sure as hell by
the Louisiana Territory.
1815: I think sending Col Jackson down the Mighty Mississip
and kicking some British Ass at New Orleans really needs to happen.
1836: I think you have to stand your ground and defend the
Alamo to the last man. But, that’s just my opinion.
1857: I’m completely and totally opposed to the Dread Scott
decision. You know, I gave Jefferson that whole “All men are created equal”
line and I meant it.
1863: I would issue an Emancipation Proclamation. I’m
comfortable with that.
1884: I’m running for President again!
1896: Plessy v Ferguson decision is bullshit!
1920: Gotta let women vote. Com on guys! We just gotta.
1933-1951: I’m good with whatever FDR and Truman are doing. (Bonus
from ’51: “I’d fire that asshole MacArthur!”)
1952, 56, 60: I’m running!
1964: I think the Civil Rights Act is a swell idea and I’d
sign that bad boy!
1968, 72, 76, 84, 88, 92, 2000, 20004, 20008: I’m
running!
2011: You know, somebody needs to put a bullet in Osama bin
Laden’s head and dump that piece of shit in the ocean.
So, as you can see, Joe Biden has done so much good for
America over the years. I’m so glad he is finally getting the recognition he
deserves.
8 comments:
I have always dug the Joe-Man, but I never knew he was so ubiquitous and far reaching. I love him even more now. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
A lot of research went into this ... ummm ... enlightning post. You must really be .... fascinated ... with ol' Joe.
Matt-Man: We owe our very existence as Americans to Joe!
Jay
Mike: Of course it took a lot of research! Do you think I just make stuff up???
Jay
Wait! You forgot one! Joe's stellar performance on Jeopardy's Teen Tournament this past Wednesday. He read all of the clues on "the history and importance of the automobile in America" category ... and it took him FOREVER!
Also, you forgot to mention, 1973: I support a woman's right to choose whether to terminate or to continue with a pregnancy. I mean, otherwise, we'd have about 6 or 8 more mini-Joe B's running around! Hey-yo!
Dana: I saw Joe on Jeopardy! and he did have a bit of a slow delivery. Maybe he had to do it really early in the morning?
Jay
Cookie: I left Roe v Wade out cause I didn't want to be controversial. HA! Okay, I actually forgot it. I mean, I was going to, but when I wrote it I forgot. Dammit.
Jay
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