Matt Said, Jay Said IX

Matt said some things this week, Jay said some things. Some of them were recorded for the history books…

Matt: “Thank you for calling the Bagwine Digs, how may I direct your call?”
Jay: “I would like to speak to the person in charge.”
Matt: “Schmoop is at work, maybe I take a message?”
Jay: “Just tell her I called and asked ‘What are you wearing?’”
Matt: “You sound great today.”
Jay: “My freaking allergies are killing me.”
Matt: “Awww”
Jay: *sneezes seven times* “Great, now I’m all snotty. Wanna make out?”
Matt: “Bodily fluids have never been a deterrent for me.”
Jay: “You sick fuck.”

Jay: “Hey, the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council commented on the Tiger Woods incident.”
Matt: “Oh they did?”
Jay: “They’re agin’ it.”
Matt: “As they should be! It’s a breach of hot dog etiquette.”
Jay: “Did you know there was such a council?”
Matt: “Actually, I did.”
Jay: “Of course you did. You’re full of useless trivia like that.”
Matt: “I am the possessor of obscure and useless facts.”

Jay: “Anyway, we gotta get someone from there on the show.”
Matt: “Yes we do. People need to know hot dog etiquette.”
Jay: “At the very least we should LINK to them.”
Matt: “I just hope they aren’t the WURST guest ever.”
Jay: “I hope they send a real spokesperson and not some Turkey.”
Matt: “We’ll see if he or she can cut the mustard.”
Jay: “Otherwise we’ll have to put them through the grinder.”
Matt: “Then they’ll get mad and start casing the joint.”
Jay: “I relish the opportunity.”
Matt: “As long as the spokesperson is frank, there will be no problems.”

Jay: “Dude! We got retweeted by the Denver Post”
Matt: “And, we got linked to by WLW 700 out of Cincy.”
Jay: “This shit is taking off!
Matt: “It’s off the hook, as the kids say.”
Jay: “Pretty soon you won’t be able to go anywhere online without seeing us.”
Matt: “We are ubiquitous.”
Jay: “I’m sure tOSU fans are really loving Brutus the Buckeye’s post.”
Matt: “Next time Arkansas loses, you should get Lou Hotz to post for Hogs fans.”
Jay: “I’m sure Lou Holths would love to talk Arkanthsaw.”
Matt: “It loses a little writing though, when you can’t see the spittle flying.”
Jay: “True.”

Matt: “So, this Saturday is ‘Sweetest Day’ so we talk about that.”
Jay: “Sweetness Day?”
Matt: “No, SweetEST Day. Men have to buy sweets for their sweeties.”
Jay: “Oh, okay. I guess ‘SweetNESS Day’ would be all about Walter Payton.”
Matt: “Right. So got any other ideas?”
Jay: “Nope. Let’s go with Sweetness Day”
Matt: “So let it be done.”
Jay: “Fuckin’ A”

Once again, brilliance in action folks.  And, a good way to warm up for Saturday Night’s I’m With Stupid would be to listen to Wednesday’s Show Prep Show. We talked about all kinds of fascinating and hilarious stuff.

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