Hola y’all! It’s time once again for us to fill out our NCAA
Tournament brackets. Tradition has it that I fill out my
Midwest: In the
Midwest Finals we’ve got Missouri vs. Duke. Are you kidding me? Hell, they make
me not even think about Memphis and I hate them like a fat kid hates running. How am I supposed to choose between these two?
It’s like choosing between Hitler and Satan! You’ve got Missouri and their long
line of never winning anything vs Duke and their long line of good-looking,
rich players winning everything! That seems like an easy choice, but despite
never being relevant Mizzou thinks they are EEEEE-LEEEEEET! God they’re fucking
annoying!
My Pick: Missouri
West: There’s a lot to hate in the West bracket. You’ve got
Kansas St, Gonzaga, Pitt, Ohio St and of course Notre Dame. After hours of
angry debate with myself I’m going to narrow it down to Kansas St vs Ohio St.
This is similar to Mizzou vs Duke in that Kansas St is even more irrelevant
than Mizzou, but they think they are the greatest program in the history of
America. Also, KSU fans make San Francisco Giants fans seem nice and friendly.
Ohio St, on the other hand, has brought insufferableness to levels even Chicago
Cubs and New York Yankees fans couldn’t imagine. What a battle of douchiness we
have here folks. I guess I’ll go with the douches I know best and hate most
though.
My Pick: Kansas St.
South: There are only two schools in the South bracket that
I hate. Looks like Oklahoma and Florida will meet up in the Sweet Sixteen in an
epic Battle of Shitbags! Look at this match up! Both states are full of
gun-toting, backwards-ass rednecks. The only thing that saves Florida is they
have beaches. Oklahoma doesn’t allow porn and you can only buy 3.2 beer
cold. Fuck that!
My Pick: Oklahoma
East: There’s a lot of hate to be had in the East bracket.
Indiana considers themselves basketball royalty and even though I like the way
they play their coach is one of the biggest dickheads in the world. I have
above average level hate for Miami, Syracuse (and their bullshit zone defense)
and N.C. State. But, there’s one school that I have special amount of hate for.
Hate that has grown exponentially over the last two years as their fans and the
pathetic slobbering media have annoyed me to no end...
My Pick: Butler
So, final four of the JayManHate™ Bracket is: Missouri v Kansas St. and Butler v OU
Wow! What an awesome battle that Mizzou/KSU game will be.
The whining, victimization, finger pointing, fit-throwing by coaches, players
and fans will be surpassed only by what you see at a daycare when every single
baby didn’t get his/her nap.
Butler/OU is a pretty interesting matchup too. You’ve got
the “We’re so much better than you and play such a superior sophisticated and
intellectual brand of basketball” of Butler vs the “We’re better Americans and
superior Christians than you” of Oklahoma.
Hmmmmm …. This isn’t easy, but I think the Finals of the JayHateMan™ Bracket is ...
Missouri vs Butler
What’s left to say about these assholes? Every last one of
them can eat a bag of dicks. I don’t even know what “eat a bag of dicks” means,
but I see it on the internet all the time and find it funny. Again, after hours
and hours of RAGE BUILDING I have made my choice.
The winner of the JayManHate™ Bracket is ...
MISSOURI!!!!
Congrats Fuckwits! You earned it!
