Matt-Man's 2014 Bucket List

Cheeeeeeeers and Happy New Year’s Eve to you all, you adorable Chuckleheads, you!!

It is indeed New Year’s Eve and you know what that means…

In addition to over imbibing, over eating, and having regretful post-stroke-of-midnight sex with somebody you wouldn’t have found attractive or even remotely likeable at 7 PM, we all make resolutions for the New Year!!

Well my friends, I am no different, but my resolutions are more of a Bucket List kinda thing for the year that lies ahead of us.  Following, is a list of what I want to do and/or accomplish during 2014.

1.  I am going to do my best to help Schmoop find a job whether she likes it or not.  Sorry Schmoop.

2.  I am going to look for a new job myself.  If I could find one that paid me enough to allow Schmoop to stay home, I would be a happy man.  I have never even remotely thought that way about any other woman in my life.

3.  I would like to get a CORPORATE sponsor for the IWS Radio Show.  Are we great show?  No.  Are we a pretty good show and website deserving of someone’s cash?  Yeah…and?  We’re usually Numero Uno. So, Ima gonna work on that.

4.  Sometime between June and September, I want to take a week off. Other than when I was in the hospital for a week in 2009 and unemployed for a couple of months in 2010, I haven’t had a week of real vacation since 2007.  The most I have gotten is two days off in row once every six-eight months.

5.  Considering the vacation thing and that I may assume a mild windfall of cash this year, I would like to take part of my week off and make a road trip to Redneckville, AR and finally in corporeal form, meet Jayman.

It would be an experience of a lifetime to go to Hudson’s “The People Pleasin’ Place” Grocery Store and Colton’s Restaurant with Jayman, and ultimately get thrown out of both establishments hand in hand.

6.  I would like to finally get divorced, annulled, and/or all-encompassingly dissoluted from my son’s mom. What the hell is up with that?  I know what it is, and I’ll explain it in Number 7.

7.  When and if Jayman and I make money on our show, the IWS Radio Corporation and monetary scale will be as so…Jayman CEO (50% of revenues), Schmoop CFO (49% of revenues), Matt-Man Bit Player (1% of revenues).  Don’t tell me that I’m not always thinkin’!!  Mommy Dearest will have no reason to still be married to me after that!!

8.  I am going to continue to be myself.  Some folks during the end of the year say things like, “I am going to be nicer.  More tolerant.”

Eh?  I am pretty nice, but I know that I am also a sarcastic asshole at times, and well, I like that.  It’s me, and I’m pretty good at it, so…I’m going to make sure that I remain that way.

9.  I am going to try Chocolate Almond Soy Milk……Ha!!  Yeah right.

10.  I am going to relax.  I may seem laid back and I am intellectually, but emotionally and in a physical sense, I never am.  Hell, I am already taking my shoes off more than usual, so, well…I am already making progress.

And in related news…Jayman and I did our first PRIMETIME IWS Radio Show this past Sunday and talked about stuff like this and it was a hoot!!

You should give it a listen…It will get you in the spirit of the New Year, and get your party preparations in high gear!!

Happy New Year, and Cheeeeeers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS
My Facebook Page       

Happy New Year 2013

"Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year…it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols." ~Thomas Mann

The words of Mann are true, but…when I read his passage, I wonder about the spirit in which he wrote it.

Is it merely a statement of fact, or is he also mocking human behavior and its attempt to harness time…to take time, and somehow, define it?

I think the latter. Mann, in all of his stoic, efficient, German manner, is correct about the ambiguity and elusiveness of time.

However, “we mortals” have good reason, or at least a reason to mark the New Year with bells and an alcohol induced blaring of trumpets.

New Year’s Day is a time when many people gather to watch football, feast on pork and sauerkraut, and publicly (and foolishly) announce their resolutions for the coming year.

Some people view the day as just another day off from work.

Those same people oft times say that anytime of year is a good time to take stock and better yourself without the confines of a once a year resolution.

I myself, enjoy the festivities surrounding the New Year, but also understand the reasoning of those who eschew the tradition of making once a year promises.

My reason to celebrate, or at least observe the New Year, lies somewhere in between the aforementioned reasons...and it relates to the statement made by Thomas Mann.

I think that between 8 P.M. New Year’s Eve while partying, and 9 A.M. New Year’s Day when one wakes up (or is finally going to bed), time does, in a way, stand still.

As Mann said, “Time has no divisions…”, and during those precious few hours, we are like a broken clock. We are both A.M. and P.M., past and present; preface and postscript.

We can visualize everything we have ever been and ever done, in the often stark, monochromatic brutality of black and white.

We can also see everything that we want to be and want to do, in color…bright colors, colors that sometimes elude our sight because we do not take the time to notice them the other 364 days of the year.

The transition between the old and the new, is but a razor thin balance between Rationalism and Empiricism, between regret and hope…between charcoal drawings and watercolors.

I hope that we can all cut through the drab, dreary, and sometimes painful black and white screen of this world and of our personal prologues, and see the colors that we oft times miss.

My wish for you this New Year is that you use your past experiences as a pencil sketch, and spend 2013 turning that sketch into a painting of bright and wonderful watercolors.

Happy New Year!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com

@mattman_iws