What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label Kim Jong Un. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kim Jong Un. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

North Korea: Crimes Against Humanity...I'll Fix Them!!

I don’t think of myself as a less than intelligent kinda guy, but one thing I can never get my mind around is
how brutal, dictatorial bullies not only exist, but even today, thrive as rulers of countries, and as “most-exalted” slave masters of large populations of men, women, and children…

Men and women who in most cases, just want to work, perhaps raise a family of kids who want to learn, grow, play, laugh, and then watch their kids renew that cycle with the kids that they bring into this world.

Of course, this type of thing doesn’t happen in North Korea, noooooooooooooo.

The other day the United Nations came out with a report containing “crimes against humanity” in North Korea that have been, and are being, conducted by the affable, adorable, and eternally Presidential, Kim family.

Oh sure…the allegations that have been presented are nothing which hadn’t already been assumed, presumed, or otherwise thought to be fact, but now the speculation is corroborated by testimony.

The testimony includes a myriad of stories of political prisoners being starved, urinated upon, forced into having abortions, beaten, raped, and of course…murdered.

The odd thing about this transparency of human horrors taking place, is that nobody does a damn thing about it, because well…this is a “very sensitive diplomatic issue”

“China could reign Kim Jong Un in, but we shouldn’t bum rush the Chinese into doing so…we wouldn’t want to upset the rickshaw, now would we?”

Yep…We should proceed cautiously because after all, only two-thirds of the 25 million North Koreans are drinking Chinese coal drenched rain water and eating pigeon shit sandwiches to get by, and well?  They can get by on that for awhile longer.  Unless of course…they protest.

Kim Jong Un, is nothing but the latest in a familial lineage of a short-dicked, shallow gene-pool dwelling, bullies, whose family has access to both nuclear weapons and drunken former husbands of Carmen Electra.

The North Korean government is not a government. It is a prison.

It is a prison run by a warden who is a child.  A child who learned too well from his predecessors that there is little food to go around, so he eats first, his military eats second, and the rest of the folks can lick the plates.

And?  If those plate lickers complain?  Throw them in the hole, and let them drink piss…before he kills them.

I wish just one prominent diplomat, world leader, or ambassador would come out and say what even the leaders in China are probably thinking…

“North Korea is a fucking shit hole, and we should do something about it, because it’s the right thing to do.”

And of course the Chinese would add…

“Because we sure as hell don’t want to take care of millions of North Korean refugees.”

Hell, I wish that some North Koreans who merely longed for some food would get together and topple the subhuman Weeble that is Kim Jong Un.

But if that doesn’t happen…I would be more than happy to meet Kim Jong Un on the street mano a mano, without his bodyguards and nuclear weapons, and even at my dilapidated 49 years of age, feign a left hook to his head.

He would wince.  He would cry.  And then, he’d wet his pants.

And I would say…

“Thought so…you pussy.”

Cheers!!

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS
My Facebook Page

Thursday, April 11, 2013

An Open Letter from Kim Jong Un

Gweetings, Salrutations, and Annyeonghaseyo my fwiends…

North Korwean Pwesident Kim Jong Un here for I’m Wiff Stupid.

You are pwobably saying to yourselfishnesses wight now…

“Rut in the Hell is Kim Jong Un doing witing a post for IWS wif the thweat of Nucreear War rooming over Korwean Penisura?”

Rell, arouse me to tell you…

I do not willie runt nuclear war, but I must impwess upon my Generwals that I am in contwol.  Howrever, I rill continue my shenanigans until I weceive wespect and food aid wich I…er…I mean, our rong sufferwing people cwave.

You think I do this for myself?  Oh no, no, no, no.

I do this for People of Fwee and Democwatic Wepublic of North Korwea!!  Sahhhhhrute!!

Yu have to wemember, that I am but one score and two times five year old, and am merewee deveroping my butterfry rings, much rike a cwissariss inside of boilring kimchi pot, so people, even my own people whom I ruv rong time, hate me and rook at me wif waised eyebwow and sranted eye.  Ha-ho.

Things not good here for poor Kim Jong Un.  Korwean people ruvved my grandfather, and they ruvved my father, but me?  Not so much.

They rish they had a stellrar and sexy leader rike you Bawack Obama.  And rell…they rould occasionally rike to eat a meal consisting of something other than bedbugs and their own self-roathing.

I twy to bwighten their spirits by bwinging basketball gweat Dennis Wodman here, but all we got out of his twip ruz four pwegnant Korwean chicks who rill all name their babies, Carmen.

Since my assault on the front of goodrill failed, to gain us aid and serwious grobal headrines, I have had to wesult to nucreear thweats and hegemony.

Ree have nucreear reapons.  Don’t say ree don’t.  Ree have many…Okay ree have one, but hear me now and risten to me rater…

Ree are going to right that prutonium candle and see rut happens!!

It may detonate all over ourself, but as Jesus Chwist as my ritness, ree are gonna raunch it and see rut the Hell happens.

Unress, of course…Yu in the West meet my demands.

I rould rike an unlimited and rifetime suppry of Pizza Hut pizza. Pepprwoni Ruvver, preferwably.

Two…I rould rike an NBA basketball team to rocate in Pyongyang, and finalree…

I so desire one Amerwican hottie…Mirey Cywus.

Duh bitch is HAWT!!

Oh sure I used to ruv my rife but rate-ree all she do is nag about how small my GDP is, and that I don’t ask her how the tortures are going. Who needs that?

Not This Guy!!

If you bwing me the head and body of Mirey Cywus, I rill forwever be your al-rye and make nice riff evweeone.

So ret it be witten…so ret it be done.

Kim Jong Un

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws