Thursday, March 5, 2015

Better Homes and Gardens: Your Recipes Make me Feel Like a Chef!!

Those of you who have read me for awhile, know that I love to cook. I enjoy inventing new dishes with whatever we may have on hand. I also like looking at cookbooks, and often, people will pass them along to me.

I was looking at one last night that Schmoop's brother had given me a couple of years ago. It is the gayest, most simplistic damn cookbook I have ever read. It was pissing me off that more than a few people certainly got paid to put this haggis smelling piece of shit together. The cookbook?

The Better Homes and Gardens Big Book of 30 Minute Dinners…

A third grader could have penned and published this roll call of remedial recipes. Now dig it...

Did you know that one can pop some frozen fish fillets in the oven and when done, place them on buns with tomato, cheese, and the condiment of one's choice, and serve them up as sandwiches for those, "hectic Saturdays?"

Looks yummy, and if I can overcome my fear of trying dishes, I may try to make one of these new-fangled, “fish sandwiches.”

I don’t know about you, but Schmoop and I are always disappointed that our breakneck schedules do not allow us to enjoy a good, steaming beet dish. Well folks, I am happy to announce that our disappointment has turned to joy thanks to Better Homes and Gardens… 

Instead of lying awake at night wondering when your next
sumptuous bowl of beets will tickle your palate, you can rest assured that a big bowl of Borscht is but 30 minutes away. Now in all fairness, there is one recipe in the book that I liked.

I have always wanted to have
sex with my sexy buddy Dianne, but never knew quite how to get her into bed. Better Homes and Gardens gave me the recipe and road map on how to do just that…

If only they had gotten the spelling of her name correct, and one other thing…It wouldn't be over in a mere 30 minutes. I would be slooooow cookin’.

Anyhoo…

I think it’s a shame that a book like this gets published, and more so that I’m sure people paid good money for it. Just throw a brand name on a piece of drivel and it sells…I joke about it, but it kinda makes me mad. Maybe I should write my own cookbook…

Because just like my Titaroni Pasta Bake that you see, at least the recipes would be original.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
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4 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

There's gonna be something else big and steaming if you eat that beet dish.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: No way, I just downed an entire bottle of bi-carbonate of soda. Cheers Jayman!!

Matt

Katy Anders said...

When you write your recipe book, please include some recipes that use jalapeno peppers.

And Thai Chili Garlic Sauce.

I'm With Stupid said...

Katy: Duly noted Katy. Cheers!!

Matt