Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Headlines, Get Your Headlines Here!!

Every time I have trouble of thinking of a topic on which to write, I always think of how Jayman writes funny headlines once in awhile.  I have threatened to do so myself in the past, and today as I had no grist in my mill last night, I offer these headlines that I would like to see…

Local Man in Ebola Video Goes Viral

Lee Majors To Reprise Role in New Warner Bros. Pic, The 1.6 Billion Dollar Man: Adjusted For Inflation

Merger Between Cialis and Viagra Produces World’s First Eight Hour Erection

Brussel Sprouts Enjoyed By Local First Grader

Liquor Store Owner Shoots Wild Turkey

The Words Virgin Mary Spontaneously Appear in Bowl of Alphabet Soup

MSNBC’s Ronan Farrow Daily Finally Garners First Viewer

ISIS Informant Reportedly Totally Hacked Off

A Clean And Sober Rob Ford To Run For Mayor of Gary, Indiana

Sierra Leone Renames Capital City To Stenchville

Dick Morris Predicts That The Next Pope Will Be a Presbyterian

Political Pundit Dick Morris Gunned Down By Drunken Catholic League President Bill Donohue

By Unanimous Vote, The U.S. House and Senate Agree To Outsource Their Legislative Duties

And lastly…

Trick-or-Treat Cancelled Due To Christmas Preparations

There ya have it…All the news that fits.  Enjoy your Tuesday and hey…let’s be careful out there, lest we become a headline ourselves.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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6 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

Cancelling Halloween to start preparations for Christmas actually sounds like a good idea!

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: Ha. You Halloween Hater, you. Cheers!!

Matt

jAMiE said...

Wait...that would be no Halloween candy...to that i say Bah Humbug!

I'm With Stupid said...

Jamie: Damn Right, eh? Cheeeeeers Jaaaaaaamie!!

Matt

Mike said...

I fell asleep on my corduroy pants and woke up with headlines.

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: Hey-Oooooooooo. Cheers Mike!!

Matt