Thursday, August 7, 2014

Most Annoying Movie and TV Clichés

Holaaaaaaaa y’all! You know, movies and TV shows can be very entertaining, but they sure do take a lot of liberties with reality sometimes. Here are some movie and TV clichés that really annoy me.

There’s never any traffic unless it’s for dramatic purposes.

A couple has crazy wild sex and then the dude just rolls over off of her and they lie there covered even though they’re sweating profusely. They never put down a towel or anything so they’re lying there in the mess they made. Gross.

Kids talk like adults.

Some has major surgery and is near death for a while yet they have no catheter.

Female leads that play cops, lawyers or doctors were raped or will get raped. They were also strippers or drug addicts in their youth. Or both!


Good guys have unlimited ammo unless they need to dramatically reload just in time to kill the bad guy.  

Big strong guy gets shot in the stomach by a little .22 (or even a bigger handgun) and it knocks him backwards several feet. Or he gets shot a dozen times and JUST KEEPS COMING!

Cop is thiiiiiiiiiiis close to solving the big crime, but DAMN! He gets suspended because he can’t control his hot temper. Ignores suspension and solves crime anyway.

Female detective who has the least seniority of anyone in the unit gets promoted to lieutenant and the policeman’s union NEVER files a complaint. The only person who even says a word is the biggest misogynist womanizing prick on the show. He sleeps with the new lieutenant.

Tech experts working for the police department can hack all kinds of official government computers with no repercussions whatsoever.  

Bad guy gets off 37 shots and hits nobody. Good guy gets off one shot and BAM! Head shot! 

20-something with low paying entry level job in NYC has a very cool loft apartment with original brick walls and floor to ceiling windows. Or, they live in Los Angeles and have a house with an ocean view.

Women are always treated as objects.


Characters that are super smart and experienced suddenly make a totally stupid mistake that even a regular every day person off the street wouldn’t have made.

A character who is a raging misogynist prick who has no respect whatsoever for women gets every single woman in the world to just jump into bed with him within minutes of meeting him.

Every single male character falls madly in love with lead female character who they keep describing as amazingly hot and beautiful even if she’s not. (Looking at you Jennifer Carpenter in “Dexter.”)

Nobody ever just coughs or clears his/ her throat. If they cough they’re going to end up in the hospital near death from some rare disease.

Cops shoot and kill one or even multiple suspects, but are never put on mandatory administrative leave while the shooting is looked into. Unless there’s an IAD guy who has an axe to grind and is looking for some payback against the cop.

There’s a bunch of people in a house and one guy comes in and asks ONE person “can I have a word with you.” They walk maybe three or four feet from the group and talk in normal voices as if nobody could possibly hear them.

Ridiculously gorgeous girl who wears glasses and ugly loose-fitting clothes is given a makeover. They take off her glasses and give her a tight, short dress and OMG THANK GOD SHE’S ACTUALLY BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYTHING IS OKAY NOW!

Fat, middle-aged, uneducated and unaccomplished buffoon is married to super-hot chick.


When arriving home and finding that the power is out they always try the light switch and when it doesn’t work, they enter the house anyway. They never look around the neighborhood to see if their neighbors have power.

When investigating a strange noise at night women don’t turn on the lights and wear the most revealing underwear they own.

A cop can blow up the bad guy’s car with one shot.

The hero cop can pick any lock with a paper clip or use a credit card to open the deadbolt unless there’s a child trapped inside a burning building then THE DOOR JUST WON’T OPEN NO MATTER WHAT!!

Girl comes onto a guy, but he tries to push her back. The guy’s wife walks into the room at that exact moment and refuses to believe that “it’s not what it looks like!”

Damn, this could go on forever! But, I’ll stop there.



7 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

I like cliche's on TV...Why do you have to pee on my cliche's? Cheers Jayman!!

Matt

Mike said...

It's fun to look for all those things and holler at the TV when they happen.

Katy Anders said...

You watch a lot of television.

Myself, I always like how lawyers, doctors, and cops only have one case at a time.

I might be TV-worthy, too, if my caseload for anything were so low.

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt-Man: That's because you don't like change. ha

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: Exactly! Like when someone is able to drive from Washington D.C. to a rural area of Virginia and then back in time for lunch. I'm just screaming "NO FREAKING WAY!"

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Katy: Another good one. Only one case each. I also love the way all cops answer the phone by saying their last name. I started doing this too. It's fun.

I agree that you are TV-worthy.

Jay

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