Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Some Thoughts on the World Cup

Holaaaaaaa y’all! Woo-Hoo! This is my last post before IWS goes on an All-American hiatus for a few days and I’m fired up about it! The time off, not the post. This post will probably suck. Well, maybe not, we’ll see.

I’ve been watching the World Cup down there in Brazil and I’m finding it to be intense! Kind of. I don’t hate soccer, but I don’t really love it either. I’m kind of indifferent, just like most of the players look to be in most games. I did enjoy that little kick-off between Brazil and Chee-LAY the other day though.

I tell you what drives me crazy though is the terminology they use. Why do they say “training” instead of “practicing?” That’s just stupid. Training is something you do with a dog. You team him to sit, stay, roll over, speak, shake hands and stuff like that. You practice a sport, even if that sport is soccer. I was watching ESPN and they were all like “Jozy Altidore was training with the US Team today” and you know what he was doing on the video? PRACTICING with his teammates dammit! Besides, how hurt is he really? Is he “hurt” or “soccer hurt?”

Why is it a “pitch” instead of a “field?” This one kind of pisses me off. It’s big. It’s made of grass. It has lines drawn on it. It has a midfield area. It has out of bounds. It’s a field. Stop calling it a pitch y’all.

Worst of all is the pluralizing of the countries. Have you heard them using these phrases:

“Spain ARE heading home.”
“America ARE advancing to the knockout round.”
“France ARE dismantling Switzerland.” 
“Germany ARE advancing ominously.” (People have been saying that for 100 years.)
“Brazil ARE a bunch of overrated pretty boys.” (Okay, I made that one up, that IS the way they would say it.)

What’s up with that? I know it’s grammatically correct, but it’s not Americally correct. You never turn on college football and hear the announcers say…

“Alabama ARE humiliating Arkansas for the fifth straight season.”
“Notre Dame ARE beating up on Oklahoma AGAIN.”

Oh and why is the “American side” instead of “American team?” That one really pisses me off.

So why do they talk like that when they’re doing soccer? I don’t care if that’s the way they do it over in Jolly Old England. I don’t care if that’s the “Soccer Way” or some shit. Talk American please.

Oh sure, I’m sure Soccer Snob is out there ready to pounce and explain this all to me. Don’t bother. I don’t care. It’s not necessary and I’m not stupid like those people who keep saying “I don’t understand the offside rule.” Oh for God’s sake people! It’s simple!

Damn this whole World Cup has me all worked up. They probably shouldn’t do it anymore after this year. Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. Time to go on vacation bitches! I’ve got family and dogs coming to town and there are hot dogs to grill and shit. Matt-Man will be along tomorrow and then we’ll be off from both the blog until Tuesday and there won’t be any show this week. IWS Radio will return on the 13th with all the hilarity you could ever dream of. More or less.


I'm With Stupid said...

I miss it already. Cheers Jayman!!


Mike said...

When I first saw the ARE, ARE, ARE, ARE, ARE, I thought the topic was switching to pirates.

But the data are convincing, right? (I hate 'data are'.)