A Long and Difficult Day

Holaaaaaaaaaaa! So I get up this morning and had a few things to do and I had to go get the Jaymom’s birthday cake at Walmart. I get all ready and make myself presentable and shit and head out of the house ready to take on the day! First thing I had to do was turn around and come right back in to get my hoodie because holy crap it was cold!

I get my hoodie and head back out still ready to get things done and get back in time for a very special event that was going to happen today which I will tell you about in a minute. I get in my car and ………….. *clickclickclickclickclick* *brrrrrcoughcoughbrrrrr* *clickclickclickclick*

OHMYGOD! CARMELA!! NOOOOOOOOO!

Suddenly Dr. Leonard McCoy appeared hovering above Carmela and said …..  

I sat there for a minute sad and depressed that the batter in my precious Carmela had died, but I knew it was going to happen eventually. I gathered myself together and commandeered the Jaymom’s car and proceeded to complete my tasks. What else could I do? The world wasn’t going to wait for me.

Since I was already in Walmart to pick up the cake, I ran by the automotive section to check on the price of a new battery. After I fainted and came to, I got the cake and some Pepsi which Walgreen’s has 3-12 Packs for $11 this week which I knew Walmart would match, and they did and took the cake to the Jaymom.

About a half hour after getting back, our special guest arrived. Yup, you guessed it. M.E. came over. Remember her? The old lady who got a new laptop and I had to teach her to use it and it has been a complete cluster fuck? The old lady to just rambles on and on and on about something and gets caught in a loop and just keeps repeating herself for long periods of time? Yup, that one!

Hooooooooo boy, she was on today y’all! I really should take notes when talking to her because it’s impossible to remember all the crazy. The highlight of the day was when we were discussing looking up our family histories. M. E. has decided that she’s part Jewish. She will not even consider the possibility that she isn’t. She’s convinced that she is and that’s why she hates herself so much. When we looked up the name Goheen we found that it’s a Dutch name. This didn’t seem possible to her at all. I pointed out that she grew up in Pennsylvania and this exchange happened:

ME: No, no Dutch there.
Jay: Where? In Pennsylvania?
ME: Yeah. No, there aren’t.
Jay: In Pennsylvania? The state? In America?
ME: Yeah.
Jay: Okay.

Anyway, we looked up some of her family whom she said lived in a little bitty town in Pennsylvania and found them. We found her aunt (I think it was her aunt), her aunt’s brother, mother, father everyone else. She recognized all the names. Suddenly M.E. says “No, that’s not them.”

Apparently she thinks that there are two separate families all with the same first and last names living in a town of just a couple of thousand people in rural Pennsylvania and the OTHER ONES are probably her family.  I’m not making any of this up.

Anyway, I put the new battery in my car and am now drinking heavily.

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P.S. You should totally listen to Aunt Jackie rocking the IWS Radio house covering John Mellencamp's "Hurt so Good!"