Friday, December 13, 2013

Yes Megyn Kelly There is a Black Santa Claus, And An Asian One, And So On...

Cheeeeeeers and Happy Friday the 13th to you all!!

I am getting really excited as I always do this time year, because there are only twelve days until my white Santa Claus brings me presents in honor of the white Baby Jesus.

Holy Christmas my friends…along with white Santa, and white Jesus, there is snow on the ground here as well.  The whiteness abounds!!

It’s no wonder White Christmas sung by Bing Crosby is such a big holiday hit.  Irving Berlin was a master of Search Engine Optimization back in the days of telegrams, phone operators, and something really fancy called air mail, and he knew how to capitalize on the whiteness of the holiday season.

However much to my chagrin yesterday, I learned that some non-Santa Colored Skin chick named Aisha Harris wrote a piece for Slate.com stating that she would prefer, that in order to embrace all of the world’s different cultures, Santa not be white, not be a man, but rather, be a Santa Penguin.

Well bar the door to white Santa’s Factory because Ms. Harris’ editorial really set the slowly grinding gears of Megyn Kelly’s quasi-legal mind into full indictment.

Legal SHEagle Megyn Kelly after citing parts of Ms. Harris’ article, responded on her FOX News show this past Wednesday…

“For you kids watching at home; Santa just is white. But this person is arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa…Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change. You know, I mean, Jesus was a white man, too.”

Ha…First of all, when I read Ms. Harris’ piece, and then heard a clip from Megyn Kelly’s show, I laughed my ass off for the same reason that Ezra Klein did, and to paraphrase him…

Megyn Kelly profoundly claims that the imaginary present-giving man who commands flying reindeer is white.

Ha!!  This is what America has become.  I mean, I would expect this type of debate within the “hallowed” halls of the House of Representatives, but among normal, everyday American people?

And yes, I know this argument and/or titanic race debate of Santa was promulgated by some chick writing on Slate and a dullard with cute hair and no soul on FOX, but Americans on both sides are eating it up and weighing in.  Including yours truly, however…

I am weighing in to say…I find it stupefying that there is a debate and WAR now raging about the physical make-up of an imaginary man,  but I find it more mind boggling that no one has asked me to settle the imaginary feud over the imaginary man that is Santa.

You see…

Santa is white…Santa is also black…He is also Asian…He is Mexican…He is a single black mother.  He is a single white dad.  Santa is a waitress with three kids, and she is a woman who has adopted a kid along with her female spouse.

Santa is a southern boy from Arkansas, a sarcastic bastard from Ohio, and the homeless man or woman who opened the door for you at the department store today so you could go in first, do your shopping, and they could follow you in and warm up before they went to sleep outside.

So to Aisha Harris and Megyn Kelly, you both are wrong.  Santa comes in a myriad of different skin colors, gestures, and Christmas wrappings.

Santa is an attitude…a fictional, yet joyful personification of hope, and an inspiration to all people for but mere moments during the calendar year.

And seriously…when that Christmas joy, fun, and happiness happens in the blink of an eye, do you really care or even remember what color Santa was?

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
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6 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

"White" is the default race for any great person, real or imagined, who does super awesome great stuff. That's just the way it is people.

She also pointed out that Jesus is also white, just like Santa. That's because Jesus and Santa are really the same guy.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: The only difference between Jesus and Santa, is that Jesus rode a magical ass instead of reindeer. Cheers Jayman!!

Matt

Katy Anders said...

I will NOT get my kids comfortable with the idea of a black man breaking into our house in the middle of the night.

I'm With Stupid said...

Katy: You could always say to them, "Don't worry kids, it's Shaft-a-Claus and he will protect us." Cheers Katy!!

Matt

Mike said...

Maybe Edgar Winter should stop by Megyn Kelly's place and show her what being white is all about.

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: Ha. Very good funny man. Cheers Mike!!

Matt