Saturday, December 7, 2013

Matt Says, Jay Says: 1-900 Phone Sex Numbers

Matt worries.  Jay is calm.  You don’t care either way.

Matt:  Hiya Chuckles.
Jay:  Hola big boy and Happy Wednesday to ya; what be the haps?
Matt:  The haps?
Jay:  Yeah.  What’s going on with ya?
Matt:  I’m standing here in my underwear with a T-Shirt on because it’s 62 in December.
Jay:  That’s gonna change soon.

Matt:  I know.  Big snow this Friday.
Jay:  Mother Nature is such a cunt. We’re gonna get hammered down here on Thursday.

Matt:  Such are the seasons.
Jay:  I know right?

Matt:  I was thinking…
Jay:  That’s always a positive step to self-reclamation…
Matt:  Ha, funny…I was thinking…Y’know…you and I talk every Sunday to millions.
Jay:  Pffffff….to tens of millions.

Matt:  I know right, and yet we don’t get paid for it.
Jay:  I know…It’s like one of the greatest injustices of the twentieth whatever century we’re in.

Matt:  Exactly, but…What if we had someone on who actually did get paid pretty well just to talk to people?

Jay:  You mean like a psychologist?  A Priest?  Or perhaps, a very convincing heroin pusher?
Matt:  Noooooooo…How about a former 900 Sex Line Operator?
Jay:  Be still my recently organically fed heart…That would be awesome!!
Matt:  I know right!?

Jay:  Do we know one?
Matt:  We do and her name is Candice.
Jay:  Oh hell yeah, Candice…I forgot about her.  She would be awesome!!

Matt:  She could talk about how she happened to get into the phone sex industry.
Jay:  She could talk about what the conversations were like.
Matt:  She could talk about how it affected her emotionally.
Jay:  She could lie talk about how I never ever called her.

Matt:  This could be a great show.
Jay:  I smell Marconi Award!!
Matt:  I think we are ready!!
Jay:  I think we are.

Matt:  One last thing.
Jay:  What’s that?
Matt:  In addition to talking with Candice, we should probably call the South African Embassy.

Jay:  Oh hell yeah…IWS needs to give props to the late, great Mandela.
Matt:  It will be great live radio when we honor his passing.
Jay:  And some people call us scalawags.  Go figure.

Matt:  See you Sunday on the radio Jayman!!
Jay:  Word, and we hope to see all of our vast and diverse World Wide audience as well, as we broadcast Candice the Phone Sex Girl
Matt:  This Sunday…LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.
Jay:  Gonna be hot.
Matt:  Yep, so all y’all...in order to enjoy the IWS Radio hotness this Sunday, click HERE.
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3 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

This show is going be more like 1-900-AWESOME!

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: More like 1-900-WHO THE HELL ARE THESE TWO GENIUSES!! Cheers Jayman!!

Matt

Katy Anders said...

I can't hear the words, "phone sex line operator" without singing Aerosmith's "Sweet Emotion."

It's required.

Oh, and thinking of dear old Grandma, but that's another story...