Monday, November 11, 2013

Another Round of Headlines Coming Right Up!

Hola y’all! Hey! I know what we can do! Let’s do some funny(ish) headlines. Okay? Okay!

Gay men in 16 states suddenly feeling societal pressure to get married and settle down.

KKK disavows any connection the GOP. “They’re ruining our image” says Grand Wizard.

INFp man sits quietly at homeowner’s association meeting and never brings up his list of grievances.

Special Investigative Report: Christians Be Mingling.

“Ellen Page Cute” added as new highest level of cuteness.

Equate’s new generic Sudafed to say “Compare to the name brand ingredients in Meth” on the box.

Israel puts hands in pockets, looks to sky and whistles innocently after report claims that Yasser Arafat was poisoned. 

Message board commenter convinces himself he could both coach and play QB for his favorite team, no problem.

Newly elected Governor of Virginia Terry McAuliffe guarantees he can make it to inaugural day without being indicted, maybe a few months longer.

To trip up the NSA Vice President Joe Biden speaks only in Pig Latin during phone calls.

Germaphobe horrified to discover that sex isn’t nearly as clean and easy as it is depicted on TV and in the movies.

Local Postmaster denies post office is responsible for mail deliveries.

Teenager shocked to realize she can make phone calls on iPhone that she’s had for a year.

CBS announces new sitcom set to debut in 2014 titled “How I Met Your Mother’s Two Broke Girls Theory”

Paris Hilton finds out that slavery existed and is now sad and angry...

NFL kicker thinks “screw it, I’m trying an onside kick here” with little success.

Bored Circuit Court judge decides to replace “the witness is excused” with “get the fuck outta here.”

Elderly man just can’t figure out Netflix’s broadcast schedule.

It’s Official: There’s Nothing Left to Put Pumpkin In.

Man dismayed to discover that his Favestar stars and retweets don’t look that impressive on his resume.

In other funny news, you should totally check out “Games People Play” on IWS Radio! We talked about all our favorite games from board games to card games to mind games and even to flag football and pick-up basketball. Plus we heard from Bobby Kraft, the Rev Moneymaker (who went looooooooong on his sermon this week), Poetry ‘n Such w/ Paul Piatt and some blasts from the game playing past!


Mike said...

'Teenager shocked to realize she can make phone calls on iPhone that she’s had for a year.'

But doesn't really care.

I'm With Stupid said...

So? Someone beat me to butterflying some SPAM slices and stuffing them with pumpkin? Bummer. Cheers Jay!!


I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: People seem to almost never use their cell phones to make calls.


I'm With Stupid said...

Matt: If there isn't any Pumpkin SPAM available I will lose all hope for humanity.