Jayman's Relationship Advice

Hola y'all! From time to time people ask me for advice. And, being the world famous internet radio star, I know that I should be there for them. Today someone emailed me about a very serious dilemma and I felt like I should answer him publicly because it might help many more people out there.

Anon asked:

So, there’s this chick that I really REALLY like.  She’s super cute and I think we would make a great couple together.  Problem is, I can’t seem to figure out how to get her attention and get her to notice me.  Got any ideas?

You’re in luck.  I’ve been in this same situation and I know just what to do.  First thing you do is google this chick.  See how much you can find out about her.  If you’re lucky you’ll find her phone number and maybe even home address.  Also, she might have an old Myspace page that she just left sitting there when she moved over to Facebook.  This is always a great place to learn more about your new victim love.

On that Myspace page you will probably find pictures of her. Maybe even some of her in a bikini.  Save those so you can make your shrine to her.  Also, you will find out who her friends are and what kind of music she loves and shit like that.

Then start learning the places she likes to hang out at.  Like coffee houses, bars, restaurants and if she likes to go for walks at the local park or whatever.  After you do this, start scouting those places out at different times of the day and find out when she’s there.

Don’t go in immediately.  Just sit back and watch.  It helps to wear a disguise and park in an inconspicuous location while doing your research.   Gather all the info you can.  Take pictures, make notes and be thorough.

Now that you have all this down, formulate your plan.  Start showing up at her favorite places and bumping into her.  Be like “HEY! Didn’t I just see you at Starbucks earlier today?” And she’ll be like “Oh yeah! I saw you there!”

You know why? Cause she noticed that you were wearing a t-shirt of her favorite band and ordering the exact same thing she was about to order.  THIS is where your research is paying off.  And, now? Now you’re at the park, staying shape like she likes to do and you’re walking your pet bulldog that you just got at the local animal shelter after reading her blog about how she still missed her pet bulldog “Brutus” that died when she was 12 on her old Myspace page that she forgot she had. 

This is important.  Don’t use her current Facebook page, blog or Twitter for research.  It needs to be on that old page she forgot about.  That way it won’t seem weird or creepy. Women don’t notice things like this and won’t put all the pieces together until it’s much too late you guys are already in love

So, now you can ask her for her phone number and you’re in!  Just start calling her like every half hour asking her out and telling her how much you love her and how you can’t live without her.  Tell her how you saw her at her favorite bar the other night with her friends and how her ass was looking delicious in that short dress.  And then ask her about that guy she was grinding on while dancing.  Be forceful wanting to know who he is and stuff.

Then, tell her about how you were driving by her house every hour or so all night long and noticed that she seems to go to bed around midnight cause that’s when the lights go out.  And you saw that she leaves the house at around 7:30 in the morning.  But that you noticed that she didn’t get home until around 5 am the night you saw her at the bar and ask just what she was doing all night.

Finally, tell her about how you fantasize about her while you’re masturbating every single night.  Be graphic.  Don’t leave any details out.  Chicks really love that. 

Hope this helps.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook.com/Jayman68
@Jayman_IWS