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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

You Never Forget Your First Time


It was the middle of the night and I was nervous as I had ever been. I had come close to this before, but something always happened to ruin the moment. This time though, it was GOING to happen. I lingered there in the darkness sweating in fear even though it was a cool evening with so many thoughts swirling in my head.

I had dreamed of this moment. Suddenly I started wondering if it would be like my dreams. Would it feel as good as I imagined? Would it be as satisfying? Would I feel like bragging?

And what about the consequences? Have I really thought this all the way through? Some people have all kinds of emotional problems after their first time. It’s especially a problem if you aren’t ready. But, I was pretty sure I was ready. I’ve been readying myself for this moment for a long time.

So, I settled my mind to make sure I could perform and not embarrass myself. I made sure I was ready and …

I POUNDED ON THE CEILDING OF MY APARTMENT WITH A BROOM HANDLE!

OOOOOOOH YEAH! IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!

And as soon as I pounded the ceiling my neighbors who had been playing their shitty music incredibly loud and had been running and jumping and knocking furniture over at 1 am suddenly stopped. Just like that it was all quiet.

OMG! SO SATISFYING! EVEN MORE THAN I EVER DREAMED IT WOULD BE!

Sure, it was over quickly. Four, maybe five thrusts is all it took. But, I didn’t care cause it felt so damn good.
And let me tell ya, I was feeling like the King of the World this morning. Hell, I knocked on the ceiling of my car just after I pulled out this morning. I was just celebrating a bit. Braggin’. Letting everyone know that I had done some poundin’ last night.

People noticed it too. They could tell. I had that glow about me. The really cute blond at Dollar General almost blushed when I stepped up to the counter. She could sense the pounding vibe coming off me. Men in the store were giving me that knowing head nod as they looked at me and suddenly thought about the last time they pounded something. Hell, even the little old lady with the blue hair who waived at me to go first at the four-way stop giggled as I aggressively through the intersection while flashing a confident grin.

I plan on doing this again really soon. Hell, I’ll do it every day if I can. I’ll pound that ceiling in the morning, in the afternoon and anytime during the night. I’ll pound that bitch in the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom and most definitely in the bedroom. Now that I’ve discovered pounding the ceiling, I can’t get enough of it. I know I might never achieve that same amazing feeling as last night, but I knew that was one of the consequences and I’m fine with that.  

If you’ve never pounded before, be sure to make sure you’re ready. I know it sounds incredible, and it is, but if you’re not ready things could go horribly wrong. Also, the person on the receiving end of the pounding might get angry and feel violated. I took my time and made sure that I wasn’t getting the wrong signals or moving too fast.

When done right, pounding something is the greatest feeling in the world. And you’ll most definitely never forget your first time.



5 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

I need to take a shower after reading this. I feel so hot and dirty. Oh my. Cheers Jayman!!

Matt-Man

Knight said...

I've never pounded before. Sure I've thought about it but it has never gone that far. I've probably done everything else you can imagine. Screaming out the window, leaving a note, threatening glances in the elevator. I just haven't gone all the way.

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt-Man: I feel that way most of the time. Of course, I enjoy it.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Knight: Well, whenever you feel like you're ready to go all the way, you just give me a call! haha ;-)

Jay

Mike said...

Just wait until Claudia makes some noise around here next time. There will be lots of pounding going on.