Hola y’all! It’s time for the State of the Union again and I know you are as excited as I am. Don’t worry about the actual state of the union (Spoiler Alert: It’s shitty) or even if Obama thinks unemployment near 8% for the remainder of his presidency is just fine (Spoiler Alert: He does.). That’s not what the SotU is about. It’s about getting together with friends and family and having a good time! What? You aren’t planning a SotU Soiree? Well you should be. And I’m here to help!
Anyway, here are some ideas to help you enjoy State of the Union …
Take one drink every time …
1. Obama gets a standing ovation from the democrats, but the republicans just sit there.
2. They show John McCain and he looks all pissed off.
3. John Boehner tears up.
4. Joe Biden appears to be nodding off.
5. They show Michelle Obama
6. Obama mentions jobs
7. Someone yells “YOU LIE” at Obama
8. They show Justice Scalia looking incredibly bored.
9. Obama uses some fake person in a small Midwestern town’s ordeal as an example of how we can do better.
10. Obama points out that the most challenging and important job he has is that of “Commander in Chief.”
11. He references God or Jesus.
12. Obama makes some vague reference to climate change
13. Affordable Care Act!
14. They show a celebrity sitting in the balcony
15. They show someone in uniform
Chug an entire beer if …
1. Any of the Republicans or Supreme Court members flip Obama off.
2. Obama points at a black guy and calls him “Mah Nigga!”
3. Obama actually makes a specific proposal that might work!
4. The camera catching Joe Biden scratching his balls.
Best snack food options for the SotU are gonna be a bit different from what you’d get at a Super Bowl party mostly because it starts a lot later. Just stick with some chips, cookies, candy of some kind, cupcakes, pie and maybe even ice cream. Be sure that it’s something that you can throw at the TV or spike on the floor in a fit of anger without doing any real damage though.
If they happen to show American’s first OPENLY bi-sexual and atheist congresswoman Krysten Sinema of Arizona, say “how YOU doin’?” and then take a bite of both your burrito AND fish taco at the same time.
Ifyou’re a RACIST you don’t really care about the SotU you can always watch a movie!
How ‘bout “The Untouchables” set in Obama’s Chicago? (Editor’s note: Now that there are 8,491 murders being committed every single day in Chicago, the city’s correct full name is “Obama’s Chicago.”
Or maybe “The Cincinnati Kid” for Speaker John Boehner’s hometown.
If you prefer TV you can watch “The Bob Newhart Show” set in Obama’s Chicago
Or of course, “WKRP in Cincinnati” for the Speaker who is a big Les Nessman fan.
Or, crazy as it sounds you could just entertain yourself listening to Matt-Man and me talk about writing on I’m With Stupid! Hells yeah! We talk about our writing process, inspirations, tips and all kinds of funny and other charming stuff. You should totally check it out.
Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS
Anyway, here are some ideas to help you enjoy State of the Union …
Take one drink every time …
1. Obama gets a standing ovation from the democrats, but the republicans just sit there.
2. They show John McCain and he looks all pissed off.
3. John Boehner tears up.
4. Joe Biden appears to be nodding off.
5. They show Michelle Obama
6. Obama mentions jobs
7. Someone yells “YOU LIE” at Obama
8. They show Justice Scalia looking incredibly bored.
9. Obama uses some fake person in a small Midwestern town’s ordeal as an example of how we can do better.
10. Obama points out that the most challenging and important job he has is that of “Commander in Chief.”
11. He references God or Jesus.
12. Obama makes some vague reference to climate change
13. Affordable Care Act!
14. They show a celebrity sitting in the balcony
15. They show someone in uniform
Chug an entire beer if …
1. Any of the Republicans or Supreme Court members flip Obama off.
2. Obama points at a black guy and calls him “Mah Nigga!”
3. Obama actually makes a specific proposal that might work!
4. The camera catching Joe Biden scratching his balls.
Best snack food options for the SotU are gonna be a bit different from what you’d get at a Super Bowl party mostly because it starts a lot later. Just stick with some chips, cookies, candy of some kind, cupcakes, pie and maybe even ice cream. Be sure that it’s something that you can throw at the TV or spike on the floor in a fit of anger without doing any real damage though.
If they happen to show American’s first OPENLY bi-sexual and atheist congresswoman Krysten Sinema of Arizona, say “how YOU doin’?” and then take a bite of both your burrito AND fish taco at the same time.
If
How ‘bout “The Untouchables” set in Obama’s Chicago? (Editor’s note: Now that there are 8,491 murders being committed every single day in Chicago, the city’s correct full name is “Obama’s Chicago.”
Or maybe “The Cincinnati Kid” for Speaker John Boehner’s hometown.
If you prefer TV you can watch “The Bob Newhart Show” set in Obama’s Chicago
Or of course, “WKRP in Cincinnati” for the Speaker who is a big Les Nessman fan.
Or, crazy as it sounds you could just entertain yourself listening to Matt-Man and me talk about writing on I’m With Stupid! Hells yeah! We talk about our writing process, inspirations, tips and all kinds of funny and other charming stuff. You should totally check it out.
Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio
Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS
6 comments:
Number 1 alone will be enough to put you into an alcoholic coma.
Leave poor Joe Biden alone. He's the common man's VP. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt
in all of this very funny stuff Boehner and Les Nessman being friends and fans of one another just tickles me
Mike: You gotta be a pro to play this drinking game.
Jay
Matt-Man: Nobody loves Joe more than me, but you know damn good and well that he will nod off at some point and will scratch is balls at least twice.
Jay
Dianne: IKR? It's such an obvious friendship too. Les and John are natural BFF's.
Jay
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