Thursday, January 31, 2013

Matt's Least Favorite Words

Cheers Chuckleheads…Continuing the continuity of our posts this week…As Jayman posted yesterday his least favorite words, I shall today, offer unto you-ins, my least favorite words.

So, heretofore, and to wit, are Matt-Man’s least favorite words…

Panties:  I tried and tried not to duplicate Jayman, but I hate this word so much, and with such fervor, that I cannot allow it to go unreplicated.  Sure, I enjoy from time to time wearing Schmoop’s underwear, but that is exactly what they are. Underwear…or as Jay called them, skivvies.  The word “panties” gives me a serious case of the goo.

Bologna:  It’s lunch meat folks.  There is no sense, even if it is spelled pretentiously, to call baloney, Buh-Lo-Nuh.  If I hear a person refer to the poor man’s steak as, Buh-Lo-Nuh, I turn red, piss my pants, and look for a baloney rind with which to strangle them.

Pro-Active:  Uuuuuuuch!!  Pro-Active literally (sorry Jay) means for action, but you know what? Most people who claim to be Pro-Active, typically want to hold a meaningless meeting and talk about the action of which they are for, yet nothing ever comes of it.

Sorghum:  It’s a fucking grass…a grass that can be turned into a molasses type fodder thing.  Ick…Say it. Sorrrrrr Gummmmm.  Merely on the level of pronunciation, it's an icky and sticky word.  I bet sorghum is a big commodity down in Jay’s part of the woods, but I would never hold that against him.

Breast(s):  Seriously?  Breasts?  They’re boobs…tits…fun bags!!  To hell with the clinical and sterile term, breast.  They can spurt out milk and are fun to play with.  Boobs and/or Tits, are much better names for such a jocular and happiness yielding creation.

Another thing that Jayman mentioned yesterday…Sammy, addy, and pressie.  In that vein, I would like to add another…“Bestie”.

“I want to show you all a picture of my newest bestie.”  You mean your new best friend?

How’s about I pour a gallon of fucking sorghum all over you and your "bestie's" bodies and place you both on a fire ant colony you idiot!?  Fuckin’“bestie”.

Hitler:  Oh Dear God!!  I think I like Adolf Hitler more than all of these present day politicians and political pundits who invoke his name in order to elicit outrage and score a political point that is always way off base. Hitler was a nut, who had one nut, and killed millions.  Neither George W. Bush nor Barack Obama is a, Hitler.

Blanch(e):  When cooking it is blanch; as a name, it is Blanche.  Either way, it is a discordant sounding word/name that makes me want to vomit (sorry Jay).

Christian:  Do I really need to say why I hate this word?  Okay, I will.  Because many people define it as, and live it as, a person who knows best for you, all the while, not observe the teachings of Christ by dictating to others, judging others, and cheating on their spouse.  Christian?  What a joke that word has become.

And there you have it folks…My list of least favorite words.

And if you’d like to hear some poetic words, you can catch the show that Jay and I did yesterday on Blog Talk Radio.  As usual, we were epically funny, and you can catch it all right here:


Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Cheers!! Matt-Man mattmaniws@ymail.com @MattMan_IWS

10 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

Chickens have "breasts," women have BOOOOOBIEEEEEEES!

I almost used "Hilter" also. And I totally agree on "Bestie" I knew I was leaving something out.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: Chicken breasts are delicious, but womens' breasts ARE BOOOOOOBIES, and are MORE than delicious!! Cheers Jayman!!

Matt-Man

jAMiE said...

Oh man, I use balogna but pronounce it baloney...is that okay, Matt?

Love your choices!

I'm With Stupid said...

Jamie: Quite acceptable Jamie. It's the pronunciation of the word that makes my head assplode. Cheers Jamie!!

Matt-Man

Dianne said...

I hate Hitler, he'd never be my bestie

I'm With Stupid said...

Dianne: I think Hitler would have been a gas to hang out with. I hear he threw some pretty wild bunker parties. Cheers Di!!

Matt-Man

Mike said...

Those are some cute ..... red things, in that picture.

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: Yes...they...are...and I may even let her call them panties if she wanted to. Maybe. Cheers Mike!!

Matt-Man

Jo said...

Those are really hot underpants!

I like bestie. It's overly sweet and makes me a little angry but not as angry as it makes other people, which in turn makes me happy...Sugarbuttons.

I'm With Stupid said...

Jo: Ha...That is exactly why I call, Schmoop...Schmoop!! Cheers Joooooo!!

Matt-Man