Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Bitches, Bikes, and Guns with Jim Stewart

Hey all you un-American, Second Amendment hating, abortion loving readers of I’m With Stupid.  Jim Stewart here.

I’m a veteran, proud gun owner, proud American, and the neighbor of one arrogant, sarcastic, and fucked up freak of left wing nature, Matt-Man.

I normally like to stay away from these blogs…these…these…instruments of re-education, however…I saw a picture of Jayman’s neighbor on here yesterday…

And I said to myself…

“God intended that chick for me, and I think we could grow some right-thinking children together.”

She thinks like me.  Cusses like me.  Holds a weapon like me.  Oh sure…her name, Not Jayman’s Neighbor, is a bit weird, but just look at her and read her words on the IWS blog thing yesterday.  You’d have to be some kind of lunatic, gay, baby killing lib to let her fucked up name get in the way of getting in her pants. That bitch RAWKS!!

As soon as I saw her picture, I could see the Stars and Stripes blowing in the wind over amber waves of grain, and when I read what she had to say, it was like listening to the late great President Ronald Reagan.

Well, the Ronald Reagan before he lost his mind due to lib doctors and FEMA putting an Alzheimer’s chip in his head after he was shot, which resulted in him unknowingly and against his will, calling for a ban on assault rifles in the early 90’s.  They really fucked him up!!  It’s bullshit!!

Anyways, and as I was talking about…Not Jayman’s Neighbor needs to drop the Match.com bullshit and get a hold of JimStewartLoveGun.com.

She mentioned that she needed a man who had been tested for diseases n’shit yesterday…She doesn’t even have to wait on my test results.  As soon as I saw her on IWS yesterday, I went and got tested.

Other than a slight case of mange and anti-social disorder, I was given a clean bill of health.  And let me tell you, I know the test results are accurate because they were performed by one, Dr. David Smith.  An AMERICAN DOCTOR!!

They were NOT performed by some towel head doctor named Dr. Rawalpindi, or Dr. Akbar Hussein, or Dr. I Came Here Illegally to America in Order to Put Herpes and Lyme Disease in your Flu Vaccination!!

Nope, not a chance.  I use an American doctor every…fucking…time…I get…an American ailment.

So the following goes out to Not Jayman’s Neighbor:

I have the paper work proving I am clean. I own several guns, and I drink heavily.  I believe in God, the Baby Jesus, and the right to cut off a lib’s head and shit down his or her neck…I believe in the beauty and God-given sanctity of fucking all night in a drunken stupor with the windows open for all to hear.

In other words, Miss Not Jayman’s Neighbor…

I, Jim Stewart, am your soul mate.  And…

If you would do me the honor of hangin’ with me, I can pop a wheelie and shake the bitch off the back of my bike in no time, and we can ride into a red, white, and blue sunset together.

If you’re interested, get a hold of Matt-Man, because I'm sure that those Muslim lovin’ FEMA fucks are always sticking their big brown noses into my e-mail account.

Let freedom ring bitches, and keep your powder dry…

Jim Stewart

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws

P.S.  Don't forget...Jay and Matt broadcast LIVE at 11 AM ET today on Blog Talk Radio.  They will be talking Nothing and Everything, so join them LIVE today at 11 AM ET by clicking HERE!!

8 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

While Jim and Shastina were obviously made for each other, something tells me this would be an extraordinarily bad idea. Unless of course they intend to live across the hall from Matt-Man and not next door to me. In that case, they should totally hook up.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: That would be okay with me. If true love finds a way for them, I can deal with the weeping, the crying....the yelling, the gunfire...the police raids. Cheers Jayman!!

Matt-Man

Fortune Cookies said...

did you ever see that x-files episode where the two lovers could never get together because every time they did it created some kind of natural disaster on the planet? just sayin'

I'm With Stupid said...

Fortune Cookie: Ha...There is nothing I can add to your comment. Perfect!!

Cheers FC!!

Matt-Man

Jo said...

I bet he puts ketchup on his Chinese takeout.

I'm With Stupid said...

Jo: I doubt if he eats Chinese food Jo. It's COMMIE FOOD!! Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Matt-Man

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