Cheers Chuckleheads…Matt-Man here.
Those of you who know me, know that of late, I have been a grumpy stump. Mr. Crabby Appleton. One pissed off muthha---Shut Your Mouth!!
Concerns over Schmoop’s health, her upcoming 4-7 hour surgery, and our tenuous financial state of affairs, has recently caused me to become a bitter, angry, and worrisome middle-aged man.
So…
Today I am going to think positive, try to stem the tide of doom and gloom, and perk myself up by listing upon these revered pages of the IWS website, some things that make me happy.
A longtime friend of mine asked me the other day if I still enjoyed baloney sandwiches topped with cottage cheese and Cheetos. That brought a smile to my face because I love them!!
And then I realized, due to my advanced state of gum disease and rapidly deteriorating teeth, I can no longer enjoy the cheesy crunch of Cheetos, nor bread if it is crusty, and the baloney? It has to be sliced into small bits…so, well…I can still enjoy a bowl of cottage cheese, I guess.
One of the goings on here in the Bagwine digs that makes feel all warm and happy, is that sometimes early in the morning, our cat Corky will hop on my chest and sleep on me while I am doing the same. I like that a lot, or at least I did.
The other morning at roughly 7:15 in the AM as I was comfortably slumbering with Corky resting upon my chest, I was awoken by a sound that can be described only as, “Shizzzz-Pffft!!” Uh-huh, my cat had sneezed on me, and not a cute, gentle, little feline sneeze. Noooooooo.
It was as if Sarah Jessica Parker had been lying on my chest and blew a sneeze out her uber-ample sniffer which covered my face with every drip, drop, and lining of her equine-sized sinus cavity. A Ding-Dang-Do. Oh well.
Oh!! Here ya go…this made me very happy. Schmoop and her brother got a hotel room for Thursday night in Columbus which is only 3-5 minutes away from the hospital. It’s nice to know that they won’t have to get up at 3 in the morning on Friday, and drive from Bagwine to Columbus in order to be there for her surgery check-in time of 5 AM.
Of course, since her brother has the car and will be staying with her throughout the surgery and her 7-10 day recovery, that means that instead of walking back and forth to work for 7-10 days, I’ll be walking back and forth to work for 8-10 days. WTF?
It is nice to know that Schmoop and I beat the man and unemployment eventually took her word over her boss’. Damn right!! Unemployment finally approved her claim!! Of course, she can’t receive any money until her Doctor clears her to look for a job, and that won’t be until mid-January at the earliest. Uuch.
Okay, okay…I gots one for you, and yes, this one makes me happy without any negativity.
As I am typing this, I am bitching and whining to myself about having an extremely sore throat, and the fact that I am losing my voice. Well, while greatly saddened about Schmoop, I should be grateful, that I, unlike Schmoop, am suffering from a minor medical malady.
I am grateful and will be vastly more grateful if sometime Friday, I get a call at work from Schmoop’s brother telling me that the surgery went well and there is no cancer. With soreness and raspiness of voice, I am going to laugh, cry, and celebrate in loud and jubilant song.
Of course…
After dropping a throat lozenge to ease the pain of my vocal outburst of joy, I will say to myself…
“I am so happy that my Schmoopie is cancer free, but this “sore throat” I have? I bet it’s cancer of the larynx God Dammit!!”
Man…this finding my happy place thing is going to take more effort.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS
Those of you who know me, know that of late, I have been a grumpy stump. Mr. Crabby Appleton. One pissed off muthha---Shut Your Mouth!!Concerns over Schmoop’s health, her upcoming 4-7 hour surgery, and our tenuous financial state of affairs, has recently caused me to become a bitter, angry, and worrisome middle-aged man.
So…
Today I am going to think positive, try to stem the tide of doom and gloom, and perk myself up by listing upon these revered pages of the IWS website, some things that make me happy.
A longtime friend of mine asked me the other day if I still enjoyed baloney sandwiches topped with cottage cheese and Cheetos. That brought a smile to my face because I love them!!
And then I realized, due to my advanced state of gum disease and rapidly deteriorating teeth, I can no longer enjoy the cheesy crunch of Cheetos, nor bread if it is crusty, and the baloney? It has to be sliced into small bits…so, well…I can still enjoy a bowl of cottage cheese, I guess.
One of the goings on here in the Bagwine digs that makes feel all warm and happy, is that sometimes early in the morning, our cat Corky will hop on my chest and sleep on me while I am doing the same. I like that a lot, or at least I did.
The other morning at roughly 7:15 in the AM as I was comfortably slumbering with Corky resting upon my chest, I was awoken by a sound that can be described only as, “Shizzzz-Pffft!!” Uh-huh, my cat had sneezed on me, and not a cute, gentle, little feline sneeze. Noooooooo.
It was as if Sarah Jessica Parker had been lying on my chest and blew a sneeze out her uber-ample sniffer which covered my face with every drip, drop, and lining of her equine-sized sinus cavity. A Ding-Dang-Do. Oh well.
Oh!! Here ya go…this made me very happy. Schmoop and her brother got a hotel room for Thursday night in Columbus which is only 3-5 minutes away from the hospital. It’s nice to know that they won’t have to get up at 3 in the morning on Friday, and drive from Bagwine to Columbus in order to be there for her surgery check-in time of 5 AM.
Of course, since her brother has the car and will be staying with her throughout the surgery and her 7-10 day recovery, that means that instead of walking back and forth to work for 7-10 days, I’ll be walking back and forth to work for 8-10 days. WTF?
It is nice to know that Schmoop and I beat the man and unemployment eventually took her word over her boss’. Damn right!! Unemployment finally approved her claim!! Of course, she can’t receive any money until her Doctor clears her to look for a job, and that won’t be until mid-January at the earliest. Uuch.
Okay, okay…I gots one for you, and yes, this one makes me happy without any negativity.
As I am typing this, I am bitching and whining to myself about having an extremely sore throat, and the fact that I am losing my voice. Well, while greatly saddened about Schmoop, I should be grateful, that I, unlike Schmoop, am suffering from a minor medical malady.
I am grateful and will be vastly more grateful if sometime Friday, I get a call at work from Schmoop’s brother telling me that the surgery went well and there is no cancer. With soreness and raspiness of voice, I am going to laugh, cry, and celebrate in loud and jubilant song.Of course…
After dropping a throat lozenge to ease the pain of my vocal outburst of joy, I will say to myself…
“I am so happy that my Schmoopie is cancer free, but this “sore throat” I have? I bet it’s cancer of the larynx God Dammit!!”
Man…this finding my happy place thing is going to take more effort.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS
5 comments:
Well, this is pretty much as positive as you get right now.
There will be celebrating Friday night as the news WILL be good!
Jay
Jay: Damn right, mi amigo. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
Yea for unemployment!
Mike: Yea!! We Beat the Man!! That'll show him not to mess with me and the words that I put into Schmoop's fingers as she typed her rebuttal to his lying statements!! Cheers Mike!!
Matt-Man
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