Pffft ... I Have More Answers than Matt-Man

Hola inquisitive folks! Yesterday, Matt-Man attempted to show off his know-it-all-ness by writing a blog post titles “I Have All the Answers.”  As I read his post I realized that while he does in fact have most of the answers, he doesn’t have all of them. Then I realized that I actually have more answers than he does. So, I decided to prove it with today’s post.

- Is Discovery Channel canceling Ted Nugent’s planned show “Ted Nugent’s Gun Country” an appropriate response to the shootings in Newtown, CT? 

It’s the MOST appropriate response I’ve seen or heard so far.

- Is it okay for me to let women friends of mine know that I think about them when masturbating? 

Not only is this NOT okay, it’s NOT okay to do it. If you do that then you’ll have trouble talking to them and shit because you’ll feel guilty about what you were doing them in your little fantasy session. Sick to aging rapidly irrelevant celebrities who are so desperate for attention that they’re practically begging you to masturbate to them.

- In his post yesterday, Matt-Man basically said that President Obama and Speaker Boehner secretly like each other and are just engaging in some kind of political theater of the absurd to entertain themselves. Or something like that. Anyway, do you think Obama and Mitt Romney also secretly like each other? 

Noooooooooo. They hate each other’s fucking guts.

- Which cheese should I put on my cheeseburger? 

Cheddar is the most appropriate cheese for burgers and pretty much anything else that gets cheese. I melts without oozing all over the damn place and has a strong enough flavor that you notice it, but not so strong that it overpowers everything else on the burger, sandwich or casserole.

- I’m getting married soon and something I never even considered suddenly came up. My fiancé says that she decided that she’ll take my name, but only by hyphenating her name. It’ll be her last name HYPHEN my last name. I don’t know why but this is kind of bothering me. Should it?

Awww is your poor wittle manhood wounded already? Then maybe you shouldn’t get married. Or maybe you should go find a chick that is a doormat so you’ll never feel challenged on any level. Or just marry her and then go buy a HUGE SUV and an AR-15 to restore your manhood.

- Who is the best sports writer in America? And the worst? 

Bill Simmons is the best and Rick Riley is the worst. Everyone between Simmons and Riley are some level of “bad.”

- Is the idea to arm and train teachers a good way of protecting children and schools? 

I can only go by the teachers I had growing up which means that would be a big fat NO.  I can’t think of single teacher that I had on any level that I would trust with a firearm. Hell, I can think at least a half dozen that, if they did have a gun, I would have refused to go to school.

- Is Christmas REALLY the most wonderful time of year? 

Yes, yes it is.


There you go. I can’t imagine there being anything else that you’re wondering about.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS