Jay's Margarita Dreams

Hola dream analyzers! It’s been a week full of really strange dreams for the Jayman. So weird that he’s referring to himself in third person. Jayman likes to call these really weird dreams “margarita dreams” but he’s sure that they have some deep meaning. So, Jayman is sharing his dreams you, his friends today.

Dream 1: Jay is waiting in line for something. He has no idea what though. Jay hates waiting in line. It’s probably Jay’s least favorite activity second only to getting kicked in the balls. Also waiting in line is some guy that Jay knows. Jay clearly doesn’t like this guy, but is being nice to him because they’re both stuck in line.

Anyway, as the day goes on and Jay becomes more and more impatient, he starts realizing that this acquaintance of his is one of the reasons the line isn’t moving. Jay tries to be patient but he finally can’t stand it anymore and tells the guy to quit messing around causing the line to not move. The guy then says “Dude. Just be patient. We’re having a good time down here and you’re ruining it. We’ll get there when we get there.”

So, Jay punched the guy’s lights out and the line moved right along with everyone stepping over his unconscious body.

Dream 2: Jay goes into the kitchen, probably to get a Pepsi, and notices that a weed of some kind is growing up through the floor! WTF?? Jay stares at this for a few minutes then goes to Google to find out what to do. Jay decides that the best course of action is to use some needle nose pliers to pull the weed out of the floor.

Well, when Jay starts pulling on the weed, the weed starts fighting back! It shakes and vibrates and then starts screaming! Finally Jay notices that the weed is bleeding! Then Jay gives the weed one more good yank and out it comes.

Jay then takes the bloody weed outside and tosses it into the yard. Almost immediately a HUGE mushroom grows right where the weed landed. Jay freaks the fuck out for a bit then goes over and pokes the mushroom with his needle nose pliers. The weed deflates and then disintegrates right there in front of Jay.

Jay then runs inside and checks the kitchen floor and finds that it’s in perfect condition. No hole where the weed was or any blood or anything on the floor. It’s like it never happened. Jay is a bit perplexed, but he’s more concerned with finally getting his Pepsi.

Dream3:  Jay and the Jaymom are at some swanky hotel in New York, and the Jaymom is NOT happy about something. So Jay gets on the phone and calls the Jaymom’s doctor and finds out that he just put her on some new meds and thinks they are reacting to other meds she’s taking. Jay asks the doc what to do and he says he’ll call in a prescription for something that will put the Jaymom to sleep and allow her to sleep it off.

But, the Jaymom is being soooooooooo mean to Jay and Jay can’t get her to cooperate at all. Even Jay’s sister comes by and gets yelled at so she just shrugs her shoulders and leaves Jay all alone with the Jaymom.

Finally, a hotel employee dissolves the new drugs in the Jaymom’s hot chocolate and takes it to her. The Jaymom is actually nice to this guy and comments on how it’s a “sad day when a stranger is nicer to her than her own son.” Then she fell asleep and I woke up.

Okay folks. Analyze that shit!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS