Monday, October 1, 2012

Love and Friendship are Synonymous

I’m not a deep man.  No seriously.

Okay, actually I can be, and oft times, am.  Just ask my BFF/OSP Schmoop who will frequently say to me…

“Hey Mahoney, could you lighten up, and dumb it down?”

Sunday evening around 8 as the full moon was rising, the weekend was waning, and after a week of being seriously under the weather, I began to think about something.

When I started getting sick last Sunday, the first person who rushed to my ailing, infectious side was my best friend, Schmoop.

Without asking for aid, she was there with cold pills, throat lozenges, and more than an annoying amount of asking, “What else can I do for you?”

As I was less than a normal human being this week, I didn't really notice all she was doing for me this week until Sunday evening as I sat down to figure out something to write.

I mean sure, I realized what she was doing for me, but perhaps, the self-pity and selfishness of sickness clouded my vision as to why she was doing what she was doing for me.

She was trying make my illness easier on me because she loves me, and she is my friend.  And that love/friendship thing, is exactly what I began to think about Sunday evening.

I think it is possible to love somebody or at least think you love somebody without being true, hugging the toilet while throwing up type of friends, in fact, I have heard many times from a wife or husband or significant other…

“I don’t like her/him, but I would do anything for her/him, because I love her/him.”

To me?  That has never made sense.  How can a person love a person and yet, not be their friend, nor like them?  And vice-versa and what not?  And Oy…my head is spinning like a dreidel!!

I have come to the realization, that at least where I am concerned, friendship and love have to go hand in hand.  If you are my friend, it’s because I love you and think the world of you.  And if I don’t love you on some level, we are not truly friends.

I know, some may find that to be a radical way of looking at friendship and perhaps I thought so as well, until something that happened Sunday night.

Shortly after I came home Sunday evening, I heard a noise, looked toward the bathroom, and saw a pale and discombobulated Schmoop looking at me asking for paper towels.

She had just with neither warning nor reason, thrown up all over the bathroom.

Now, I could have said to myself in the aforementioned manner, “I don’t like her, but I will take her the paper towels to her anyway, because I love her.”…but no.

I grabbed the paper towels, told her to get back in bed, and cleaned the mess up myself, because not only do I love her, she is my friend…and that is what friends do.

I’m sure my epiphany about friendship and love can be attributed to the emotional frailties of aging and a post-illness recovery, but that matters to me not, because regardless of its impetus or origins, I believe it.

And…I am going to honor that belief by doing the following…

Beginning today, I am going to purge my list of people whom I may have previously called, friends.

In life, on Facebook, in whatever manner of speaking…if I cannot without hesitation nor awkward feeling, say unto a person, “Love you Buddy.  Love you pal, or just plain, I Love you.”, it means that that person and I are something less than friends.

It doesn't mean I don’t like a person, it just means, as I grow older, I am narrowing and honing my definition of what and who constitutes a friend.

And really?  Is that so bad?



And in case you missed it...Jayman and I did one helluva radio show yesterday as we discussed medical maladies.  It was laid back and hilarious, so if you missed it, you can catch it here:


I'm With Stupid said...

It's important not to take people for granted. Also, it takes effort to stay connected to people even if it's someone you really want to connect with. I'm really bad about that.


I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: Yes it is and I am going to put that challenge upon myself as well. Cheers Jayman!!


Beth said...

Awww, thanks sweetie! Sorry about the vomit;)

I'm With Stupid said...

Beth: Don't be sorry. Your vomit proved to be my inspiration. Cheers and Loves Schmoop!!


Dana said...

Ummm ... can you let those who don't make the cut know? Well, at least if I am one? I don't care about those other non-friend people BECAUSE THEY AREN'T MY FRIENDS!!!

*deep breath*

I hear those one-sided friendships are really awkward ...

Dianne said...

I can't love that many people anymore
I can like a lot more and enjoy them for a trait or a shared past or a common interest and that's OK

tell Jay I'm sorry I forgot George Lazenby
and that I love Idriss Alba and it would be amazing to have a James Bond of color


I'm With Stupid said...

Dana: Yeah I'll let you know. I have to do some soul searching first , and as most folks know, my sould is HUGE!! Cheers Dana!!


I'm With Stupid said...

Di: Really? I am all about the love Di, and as far as telling Jay all that? I think you just did. Cheers Di!!


Jo said...

That was beautiful and a little bittersweet.

The husband and I went through an awful exorcist illness 2 weeks ago. I get bitchy when he's sick because he rarely is and it terrifies me.

I've become more selective with the people I get close to, but conversely I find it easier to be friendly to more people.

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