Saturday, September 22, 2012

Matt Said Jay Said LV

Matt runs off at the mouth, Jay runs off at the mouth, You amuse us by pretending to listen.

Schmoop: Hola Jayman
Jay: How did you know it was me?
Schmoop: I sensed your presence through the phone.
Jay: The phone was giving off a special vibe wasn’t it?
Schmoop: Yes, a special …. creepy vibe.
Jay: That’s kinda hurtful
Schmoop: I’m just trying to keep you guy’s success from going to your heads.

Matt & Jay: TOO LATE!

Schmoop: I knew it was a lost cause.
Jay: Don’t feel bad. You did your best.
Schmoop: I guess that’s all I can do. Wanna talk to Matt?
Jay: Meh … I guess.

Matt: Make it quick, I’m a busy man.
Jay: Oh really?
Matt: No
Jay: Me neither
Matt: Got any ideas for Sunday
Jay: Nope
Matt: Me neither
Jay: Well, there we go!
Matt: I think we’re ready!

Jay: Hey, why don’t we have a Wikipedia page yet?
Matt: I was just thinking about that when I was looking up Barabbas.
Jay: Why were you looking up Barabbas?
Matt: Oh just a “discussion” I was having with someone on Facebook.
Jay: Cool. Anthony Quinn was excellent in the movie.
Matt: I’ve never seen it.
Jay: Next bout of insomnia just turn on TCM and watch all night. You might catch it.
Matt: I’ll look for it.
Jay: Anyway, why no Wiki Page?
Matt: For the same reason we aren’t verified on Twitter.
Jay: Which is?
Matt: Social media sites just don’t recognize our greatness.
Jay: Bastard.
Matt: It hurts.
Jay: Life is nothing but an uphill climb for us.
Matt: More like a Three-Legged Sack race w/ Steven Hawking as a partner.
Jay: He’s pure dead weight.
Matt: It’s rough

Jay: Hey wait a minute! I’m your partner! I’m dead weight?
Matt: So, what are we gonna talk about?
Jay: Have we done a religion show?
Matt: I don’t think so.
Jay: We could do that!
Matt: We have to! Porn one Sunday, religion the next!
Jay: It’s perfect!
Matt: This will be great.
Jay: We’ll just tell church stories
Matt: I’ve got enough of those
Jay: And sing Hymns
Matt: No, probably not that
Jay: Okay, other religious stuff.
Matt: Another #1 show coming up!
Jay: Probably. That’ll be up to God.
Matt: True
Jay: Okay, we’re ready!
Matt: Damn right!

So, don’t forget to tune in to “Religion: The Lighter Side” on I’m With Stupid on Sunday at 12 Noon ET! God will know if you are there or not. Just sayin’.


I'm With Stupid said...

Y'know how she knew it was you, Jay? When you call and the phone rings, the Bagwine digs spontaneously smell like Drakkar Noir. Cheers!!


Anonymous said...

God Bless you both! :) Miss

Mike said...

Jay, you're more than just dead weight. You're large quantities of dead weight. Always strive to be the best.

jAMiE said...

Can't wait to hear your church stories...what a perfect day to talk about religion...try not to offend, k boys!

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt-Man: I've been using Drakkar since the 80's. It just seemed to go with my Delorean perfectly.


I'm With Stupid said...

Miss: And God bless you too!


I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: Thanks for the support and inspiration.


I'm With Stupid said...

Jamie: Try not to offend? Uh, well, I can't promise anything on that front. ha! ;-)


Gnetch said...

I think you can write your own Wikipedia page and announce it on Twitter acting surprised. I bet that's what famous people do.