Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I Hate Election Season

Hola y’all. You know what I hate? Election Season! You knew that? Oh yeah, it’s the title of this post. Okay, so I’m not that clever, but I am serious about my hatred of election season. I’m at the point where I would support going to six year terms for everybody and then I could go on vacation to Siberia while it’s happening.

Missouri is FINALLY holding their primaries. What’s that? Oh no, those other 75 republican primaries, caucuses, straw polls, hootenannies etc, were only for president. And, spoiler alert: None of them counted. Anyway, the ads on Springfield TV stations are relentless and completely idiotic. Sarah Palin is campaigning for Cruella de Vil Sarah Steelman and her two male opponents are running ads that basically say “OH MY GOD!!! I’M SOOOOOOOO CONSERVATIVE!!! I HATE OBAMA SO GOD DAMN MUCH AND MY OPPONENTS SECRETLY LOVE HIM! SARAH STEELMAN WANTS TO HAVE DISGUSTING INTERRACIAL SEX WITH HIM IN DEFIANCE OF GOD’S WORD!!111 OMG11!!”

There’s one guy who is running for the part time position of assistant county land alderman commissioner clerk secretary who says on his first day in office he will begin the process of repealing Obamacare in Missouri. Don’t ask him how or if his office has any authority because he doesn’t know or care and neither do the people who are going to vote for him.

And the pandering! Oh dear God the pandering! Mitt Romney goes on a trip to Israel and a day before he gets there Obama announces he releasing millions in financial aid to Israel. Then he announces that he will host a local dinner theater’s production of Fiddler on the Roof at the White House followed by a Steven Spielberg movie festival hosted by comedians Andy Samberg and Mort Sahl.

Then this bullshit story comes out about Olympians having to pay taxes on their gold medals which actually turns out to be taxes on the cash bonuses they get from the USOC. But that didn’t stop the panderers! Florida Senator Marco Rubio announces he is introducing a bill that would exempt Olympic athletes from taxes on their bonuses and medals. Did Obama respond by being an adult and explaining that this is nothing but pandering and faux patriotism? Oh hell no, he took the easy way out said he would support the bill.

Next up are the conventions. Have you seen the speaking lineups for both the republicans and democrats? They checked off all the boxes already. Each has a Latino, an African-American, an Asian-American, a woman, a southerner, a northerner, a westerner, a farmer, a small business owner, a housewife and on and on. These conventions are lessons in identity politics. They will make sure to pander to each and every voting block anyone can ever think of. The only difference is there will be NO GAYS at the republican convention.

And you know what really sucks? It all works. The negative ads work. The “you didn’t build that” ads work. The “pioneered outsourcing” ads work. The “He doesn’t love America” attacks work. The “you people” attacks work.

You know why? Cause we not only accept all the pandering we demand it. That’s right; the voters like to be lied to. We want them to tell us what we want to hear and we want them to call their opponents the same names we call them. We want to be told America is exceptional and each and every one of us is right on the verge become multi-millionaires. We want to be told all our problems are being caused by immigrants. And most of all we want to be told that fixing all our problems will be simple and painless.

So folks, next time you’re bitching up a storm about the low quality of people running for office remember that it’s our fault.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

13 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

Damn right...I don't want effective leadership. I want a person "in charge" who makes me feel comfortable with what I believe yet, truly don't understand. Nicely done Jayman!!

Matt-Man

Anonymous said...

I think I have a migraine.. Want some of my meds Jay? :)

Anonymous said...

Ohh, that was me, Missy! :)

Mike said...

Have you noticed how the gas prices have gone up 4 times in the last week? Think the oil companies are trying to destroy Democrats?

Lisa said...

Sad but true.

And the negative ads... UGH. We are being bombarded here. I don't watch anything in real time anymore -- not even the news. Especially the news. I'm pretty sure they aren't changing any minds either. Billions of dollars spent preaching to the choir.

Great read, Jay. XOX

Fortune Cookies said...

A few weeks ago someone actually said to me, "Oh, I don't look up any info. on the candidates. I just watch their ads on tv to decide who I'll vote for."
Oy vey!
What really baffles though me is that there actually are gays at the RNC - the log cabin republicans. I just don't get how anyone can align themselves with people who not just disagrees with them, but instead goes out of their way to try to oppress them.

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt-Man: Exactly! I just want a strong authoritative man telling me how to feel about myself and country.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Missy: Yes, definitely share your meds with me!! haha

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: There is nothing that is a bigger pile of bullshit than the way they manipulate the price of gas.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Lisa: These ads are just too much. I don't have a DVR, but might need to get one just to avoid the political ads.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Cookie: I don't get it either. I get that they are fiscal conservatives and all that (not that the republicans are fiscally conservative anymore) but they are aligning themselves with a political party that HATES them and has zero respect for them. That makes no sense.

Jay

Jo said...

That was great, Jay. You got me all riled up. I think they're all jackals. I'm so tired of choosing between liars who have little to do with the majority of people. It's like hiring space aliens to run our country.

I'm With Stupid said...

Jo: I'm sorry but I totally lost my train of thought when you said you were "all riled up." ;-)

Jay