Friday, August 10, 2012

Hell Yes, She's Delicious; She's Made of Chocolate!!

Hi Kidz, Matt-Man here, for I’m With Stupid

I was going to make a comical, inane, fly by the seat of my pants, stream of consciousness post today, but you know what?

I got pissed off.

That doesn't happen often, well, other than when I pretend to be pissed off on my Facebook page in hopes of attracting comments, but…

I digress, and now, dig it…

A guy that I know casually, said to me the other day…

“I was thinking about going out with a black chick who seems to like me.”

(Matt-Man thinks as to why he mentioned her blackness, shudders, and then sarcastically states…)

“Don’t tell anyone.”

With a knowing, Masonic like head shake, he whispered…

“She’s very cute…but with her being chocolate and all, I don’t want to let anyone know.”

(Matt-Man thinks…Chocolate?  Seriously dude?  You're referring to a human being as, Chocolate? This won't end well.)

I lost interest in his stupidity, and simply said…

“That’s great.”

He left for the day, but yet...

He came back, and today, he broached the subject once again…

The guy, in ultimate neo-caveman form uttered...

“I typically only drink two or three, but I need a 12 pack; my chocolate chick is coming over and she drinks like a fish.”

(Matt-Man thinks…if this guy doesn’t want me or anyone else to know that he is, “dating beneath his race”, why is he telling me this?)

And then he said…

“Don’t get me wrong. I love white women, but I thought I would give IT a try.”

(Matt-Man stands there and asks himself, “Give a black chick a try?"  Is this guy serious?  Does he think that "giving the black chick a try" is akin to switching from Miller Lite to Budweiser?)

And then he asked…

“Have you ever dated a black girl?”

And I responded…

“Yes and she was HOT, her name was Jackie!!”

His response…

“Did you tell people about it?”

And I said…

“No, I would never do that.  We did go out in public together more than a few times, but I would never tell anyone we were together…especially when I was kissing her in public.  Has she told her family about her dating a white guy?”

And he responded…

“Oh sure; they are fine with it, of course.”

And after I quickly realized the amusing irony of what I had just said was somehow lost upon him, I thought to myself…

“Why wouldn't they be fine with it?  He’s a White Guy!!”

He said, "See Ya later!!"

An all the while I'm sure that in his crooked ass mind, he was thinking...

"Their girl is dating up the race chain; I am being benevolent, and the entire time, the "chocolate" chick and her family actually think that she has found somebody whom she likes and likes her..."

And all the while, he was also thinking…

“I never knew doing a favor for a chocolate chick would feel so good, and get this white guy laid.”

And all the while I was thinking...

"What a puke."

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws

16 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

Maybe her name is "Chocolate?"

Maybe it's just me, but this guy sounds kinda racist.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: Ha...Maybe her name is Chocolate and I have unwittingly jumped the racism shark...or not. Cheers Jayman!!

Matt-Man

Anonymous said...

What a jerk.. Uuch!! Missy

I'm With Stupid said...

Miss: Ha...Well said. Cheers Miss!!

Matt-Man

Mike said...

I wonder if her family knows she's dating DOWN the IQ chain.

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: Only the best and brightest live in Bagwine, Ohio Mike. Cheers!!

Matt-Man

Wine~Gurl said...

Stupid ass white coward boy. If you cant tell anyone and she is a toy to be played with in bed he might be a racist. I hope she turns him out and have him begging for more and cant get none! Crack head!

I'm With Stupid said...

Wine: I would add to your comment, but well...there's nothing to add. well done. Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Matt-Man

Jo said...

Wine~Gurl made me laugh so hard!

I just want to beat his ass.

I'm With Stupid said...

Jo: She is very subtle in her approach, Jo. Cheers Gorgeous One!!

Matt-Man

Knight said...

I think we should all hope this guy doesn't get anywhere with any flavor because if he breeds that puts us all in danger. Any way you can spike his 12 pack with birth control?

I'm With Stupid said...

Knight: Not a bad idea. I shall attempt to do just that. Cheers Knight!!

Matt-Man

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