Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Just Showing Up

Hola y’all! Comedic genius and loving stepfather Woody Allen once said “Eighty percent of success is just showing up.” I don’t know if he stole that line from someone else, simply made it up or read a legit study that got that number scientifically, but I tend to agree with it. So, when I saw this story about Maine Senator Susan Collins having never missed a single vote in the senate in her entire career I was impressed.

Since being sworn in back in January of 1997, Sen Collins has never missed a day of work. Sometime soon she will cast her 5,000th consecutive vote. Wow!

When I heard about Collins’ record, the first thing I wondered was if she has been getting a cool “Perfect Attendance” certificates and maybe a gift card to Walmart or something? I know that’s what corporate America loves to do. Man, companies just love people with perfect attendance. I know because I did the perfect attendance thing several times. I never received more praise for anything I ever did than I did for just freaking showing up every single day.

Hell, I’m not sure they cared what I did when I was there, they just wanted me there. It was like it just made them feel better to have me around. I guess it was my positive attitude and cheery disposition that they were addicted to. If I wasn’t there, the mood was probably dark and depressed.

There’s also a certain amount of scorn for having perfect attendance though. A lot of people were obviously jealous of my certificate (not framed) and Walmart gift card so they made fun of me for “not having a life.” I feel bad for such sad people, trying to drag me down to their level. Luckily though, another bonus to having perfect attendance was that we got our pictures taken with our certificate and gift card and those pics were put on the “Wall of Perfection” From that wall we could look down upon the lesser folks who can’t even be bothered to just show up every day.

Of course, for some people perfect attendance isn’t enough. I remember one supervisor I had who was giving me my 6 month review once who was pretty notorious for noting giving high scores. The review was pretty straight forward with several lines like “Works well with others” or “Keeps work area organized and clean” or whatever. On each of these he had to rate us from 1 (fire this moron immediately) to 10 (greatest employee ever). Anyway, despite my perfect attendance he gave me 9/10 in that category.

I didn’t really care that much because overall my review was very good, but I couldn’t resist asking him about that. He said “Well, you’re attendance has been really good” and I was like “Yeah, as in been here every single day.” He looked at his attendance charts and said “Hey, that’s really great, but I don’t give 10’s for anything.”

Anyway, the only thing Susan Collins gets for her perfect attendance is a pat on the back. That hardly seems fair. Well, she does get $174,000/year with an automatic COLA increase each year, some great health insurance benefits, lots of free trips all over the world either as part of an “official” government group (and lots of great getaways paid for by lobbyists) and that sweet pension. So, I guess it works out okay.

Anyway, my point is … Well, I don’t really have a point. But, I did show up today, just like Susan Collins. And, as Woody points out, showing up is what really matters.



Speaking of showing up, former Food Network exec Carrie Welch showed up on IWS on Sunday and was freaking great! The show is getting great traffic and we’re getting lots of great feedback too. Thanks to everyone who listened. We really appreciate it.

If you haven’t listened, check it out. You need to know what Bobby Flay and Rachael Ray are like behind the scenes. You also need to know who Carrie had to institute a “No Fighting” rule for and you ESPECIALLY need to know what food Carrie refuses to eat cause you’ll never guess.

And then you need to hear about Feast Portland, Little Green Pickle and the Portland food scene. Yes, you do too!

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I'm With Stupid said...

I think Susan Collins is awesome...in fact, in spite of her politics being right of mine, I would love to have sex with her...As you know, I have a thing for ample noses. And hers? It RAWKS!! Cheers!!


Mike said...

I'll show up anywhere everyday for 174K a year.

Jo said...

I love your reliability.

I usually get near-perfect attendance because going all the way seems like the kiss of death.

Your ex-boss sounds like a real winner. Why does every office have a person like that?

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt-Man: Susan Collins is a pretty decent senator. Of course, I'm only comparing her to OTHER senators. ha


I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: It's a lot easier to show up every day for that kind of money.


I'm With Stupid said...

Jo: Reliability is what makes for a great stalker too.

Every place I've ever worked had people like that guy. It's like they all have a quota to fill.