Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Weather Channel 30th Anniversary...Stephanie Abrams, Hail Yes!!

Today, May 2, 2012 is a huge day for wannabe meteorologists, weather geeks, and people with too much time on their hands.

I, being each of those things, am excited to, with a voice louder and more annoying than the Emergency Broadcast System warning tone, announce the following…

“Happy 30th Anniversary to The Weather Channel!!”

That’s right, today marks 30 years on the air for The Weather Channel.

On May 2, 1982, a 24/7 network devoted entirely to weather, rained down upon and into cable systems across America flooding our lives with meteorological information, making tornados and hurricanes sexy, and assigning the rolled up shirt sleeve look to be a portend that a truly catastrophic weather event is imminent.

I truly am a weather freak, and let me tell ya, I got a hard on when at 17 years of age, late at night, in the dark, I turned on the TV and saw a hot chick standing in front of the sexiest graphic of an occluded front that I had ever seen in my life.

Oy!!  From that night on, I was hooked more than a  Doppler indicated tornado, and still am, however…

On July 20, 2009...NBC, the recently new parent company of TWC, incorporated their famous fake weatherman and hypocrite, Al “Fucking” Roker into the morning mix, with a morning show called, Wake Up with Al.

I protested to TWC directly through e-mail, and raised cane on my former website, but was told by their PR person,

“We can’t please everybody.”

As a purist when it comes to meteorology, I was pissed that TWC was going to be highlighting a non-meteorologist whose only knowledge about the weather is, that when it rains and one is out in it, one tends to get wet…and, if the sun comes out, one will probably dry off at some point.

Fuckers…NBC/GE...not TWC.

Anyhoo…

As Gastric By-Pass Boy became the new cloud hanging over my affections for TWC, his co-host, Stephanie Abrams, was and is a ray of sunshine, and let’s be as clear as a summer day in June about this, a REAL meteorologist and well…

SMOKIN’ HOT!!

Oh Dear Lord…I would love to lay atop Stephanie Abrams’ warm front, and sensing my barometer rising, wait for my updraft to bring about a downpour, and ultimately a microburst.

Even during the middle of an Ohio winter, that would be HOT!!

I tell ya…Weather systems have areas of High Pressure and/or Low Pressure, but if Stephanie Abrams and I hooked up, it would be an area of GO Pressure!!

And there you have it.  In spite of Al Roker jading the beauty that is TWC, I will always dig it, but because, and only because, of Stephanie Abrams.

Well, and because of the Local on the 8’s…I do like that, too.

Happy 30th Anniversary to The Weather Channel.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshoabdude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws


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10 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

One of the reasons I always wanted to learn to do celebrity impressions is because I thought it would be funny to do "Locals on the 8's" in celebrity voices. I'm sure TWC would never go for anyway, but it would still be funny.

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jay: That is an excellent idea. We need to do that. Genius!! Cheers Jayman!!

Matt-Man

Mike said...

I like weather... or not.

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: I love weather so much, I want find out what Stephanie Abrams' Dew Point is. Cheers Mike!!

Matt-Man

Jo said...

She has spectacular hoots.

I'm With Stupid said...

Jo: Yes...she...does. Cheers Jo!!

Matt-Man

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