Happy Presidentially Endorsed Gay Marriage Thursday to one and all!!
Cum stained man panties are a-heavin’ and the lip stick marred bras are a-flyin’ today because President Obama announced on Wednesday that he is fully behind, and pushing for the rights of gays across America to nuptialize.
Or something.
I mean, well…that’s what good Christians, right-wing neo-tards, and James Dobson would have you believe.
However…
When President Obama came out of the political closet of cowardice yesterday, and announced that he wanted to “affirm” his belief in Gay Marriage after years of tap dancing around the issue, he freaked many God fearing Christians out.
Because as the God-Fearing Christians know, once gays are given reassurance that the head of the most powerful country on Earth says, “Go forth and marry”…
Gays everywhere will take that as a free pass to move from having sex in the quasi-private security of public park restrooms and homos everywhere will teabag each other on Main Street U.S.A., as The Indigo Girls recite excerpts from love letters sent from Alice Toklas to Gertrude Stein while strumming porn score power chords in D Flat Minor.
You know what I say to that line of thinking? Of course you don’t, or I wouldn’t have written this, but I digress…
There are far too many Americans who think that intelligent, gay adults are nothing more than sex machines in search of little kids with which to have sex when there are no other intelligent, gay adults with which to have sex.
In the minds of more than a handful of Americans, gays are nothing more than the perverse embodiment of the Devil.
Blow Me, Oh Righteous Ones!!
The idiotic, far right-wing Conservative nut jobs who are afraid of Gay Marriage are the same ones who see black helicopters casting shadows of government infiltration upon their day to day lives…Who nebulously claim government has become too big, and who scream..
“Obama is a Socialist”, all the while cashing their Social Security checks, in order to drive a well-built and bailed-out Cadillac while transiting the Interstate Highway system, in order to roam around National Parks such as Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, or the Battlefield at Yorktown.
See?
Liberals and Conservative both enjoy the bounty of a nation that is rife with national interest, history, and endowments, but…there is a difference. And this gay marriage issue seems to apply the yellow highlighter of difference upon these two schools of thought.
In my world, I consider myself to be a Liberal because I believe that every opportunity for personal growth, affection, knowledge, and happiness should be applied and reasonably given to all. If it is not, what is the purpose of living here, in fact, what would be the purpose of being an American?
Some Conservatives would say, “I agree with you, but that does not apply to the God Given rite of marriage.”
My answer goes back to the Declaration of Independence.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
And seriously?
If a woman loves another woman or a man loves another man, and they just want to live together with the protection that a legal contract such as marriage or a civil union provides…how the hell does that affect you?
Uh-huh…It doesn’t. So…
Throw some rice for the gay couples and leave your presents at the door.
I hope Jayman and I are recognized for our work in this area. You see…
It was only hours after yesterday’s IWS Radio Show in which we chastised Obama for lacking the courage to come out in favor of gay marriage, that he did. Once again, the power of IWS in full force.
If you didn’t catch the magic live, you can listen to it here:
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws
Cum stained man panties are a-heavin’ and the lip stick marred bras are a-flyin’ today because President Obama announced on Wednesday that he is fully behind, and pushing for the rights of gays across America to nuptialize.
Or something.
However…
When President Obama came out of the political closet of cowardice yesterday, and announced that he wanted to “affirm” his belief in Gay Marriage after years of tap dancing around the issue, he freaked many God fearing Christians out.
Because as the God-Fearing Christians know, once gays are given reassurance that the head of the most powerful country on Earth says, “Go forth and marry”…
Gays everywhere will take that as a free pass to move from having sex in the quasi-private security of public park restrooms and homos everywhere will teabag each other on Main Street U.S.A., as The Indigo Girls recite excerpts from love letters sent from Alice Toklas to Gertrude Stein while strumming porn score power chords in D Flat Minor.
You know what I say to that line of thinking? Of course you don’t, or I wouldn’t have written this, but I digress…
There are far too many Americans who think that intelligent, gay adults are nothing more than sex machines in search of little kids with which to have sex when there are no other intelligent, gay adults with which to have sex.
In the minds of more than a handful of Americans, gays are nothing more than the perverse embodiment of the Devil.
Blow Me, Oh Righteous Ones!!
The idiotic, far right-wing Conservative nut jobs who are afraid of Gay Marriage are the same ones who see black helicopters casting shadows of government infiltration upon their day to day lives…Who nebulously claim government has become too big, and who scream..
See?
Liberals and Conservative both enjoy the bounty of a nation that is rife with national interest, history, and endowments, but…there is a difference. And this gay marriage issue seems to apply the yellow highlighter of difference upon these two schools of thought.
In my world, I consider myself to be a Liberal because I believe that every opportunity for personal growth, affection, knowledge, and happiness should be applied and reasonably given to all. If it is not, what is the purpose of living here, in fact, what would be the purpose of being an American?
Some Conservatives would say, “I agree with you, but that does not apply to the God Given rite of marriage.”
My answer goes back to the Declaration of Independence.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
And seriously?
If a woman loves another woman or a man loves another man, and they just want to live together with the protection that a legal contract such as marriage or a civil union provides…how the hell does that affect you?
Uh-huh…It doesn’t. So…
Throw some rice for the gay couples and leave your presents at the door.
I hope Jayman and I are recognized for our work in this area. You see…
It was only hours after yesterday’s IWS Radio Show in which we chastised Obama for lacking the courage to come out in favor of gay marriage, that he did. Once again, the power of IWS in full force.
If you didn’t catch the magic live, you can listen to it here:
Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio
Cheers!!Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws
10 comments:
I feel bad that we had to be so harsh on Obama on IWS, but we got the results everyone wanted. Obama finally took a stand and came down on not just the right side of liberty and freedom, but the right side of history.
Jay
And Jay...When the poll numbers over this declaration come out tomorrow, Mitt will decide how he feels about gay marriage..again. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
I've been trying hard to understand the opposition, and I think I have it down now:
1. If prostitution were legal, all Christians would HAVE to hire a prostitute. They wouldn't be able to live according to their religion. Just like, if coveting your neighbor's wife were legal, you would be compelled to do so.
2. If I do not oppose the legal prohibition of something, it means I actively support or engage in it. So, if I do not oppose the banning of Britney Spears' music, it means I like Britney Spears' music. If I do not oppose the banning of asparagus, it means I must eat it. If I do not oppose the banning of ugly shoes, I must actively be endorsing those shoes.
Therefore, President Obama is gay and wants everyone to be gay, too.
Fortune: Ha...Why thanks for the shout out FC. We are here to help wherever and whomever we can even it involves putting pressure on the President. Cheers Fortune Cookies!!
Matt-Man
Better late than never... maybe?
Also, I don't think I can ever forgive you for using the term 'cum-stained man panties.'
Beer: Of course it's better late than never, but c'mon, "cum-stained man panties." is a great line. Cheers Beer!!
Matt-Man
Ohhhh ... it effects me! Then those oversexed, windowless van drivers (a.k.a. gays/lesbians) will have access to Social Security death benefits for their oversexed, windowless van driving spouses, depleting *MY* already struggling pension plan!! Doesn't effect me huh??
Dana: What? Cheers Dana!!
Matt-Man
That first picture is.. HOT!!!
Mike: I know right!? Yowza!! Cheers Mike!!
Matt-Man
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