What IWS Fans Are Saying

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Matt Said, Jay Said XVIII

Matt talar; Jay talar…You, lyssna.

Matt:  Booooooquet residence, lady of the house speaking.
Jay:  Gawd…You so sound like a Sheridan.
Matt:  Hey, I still have a cold; show me some love.
Jay.  Sure…Love , love, love...God...  Happy now, ya sick fuck?
Matt:  Your lumbago is acting up, isn’t it?
Jay:  I’ll be fine.

Matt:  So, now that I have turned off Herman Cain on the radio for you and only you, what’s up?
Jay:  Since we are moving to Sundays at Noon Eastern this Sunday, we need to make a splash.
Matt:  Not only a splash, a sacramental splash!!
Jay:  We could do a church service of some sort, with dancing girls and all that.
Matt:  Or in the case of the Catholics, dancing boys.
Jay:  You were molested as an altar boy weren’t you?
Matt:  Maybe.

Jay:  Why don’t we skip that, and talk about how awful organized religion is?
Matt:  You don’t like organized religion?
Jay:  Hell no…I grew up Methodist.  A service of a song or two, a sermon, and then a plea for money.  So fucking boring… At least throw in some descriptive, dirty talk about how evil having sex is.
Matt:  You’re going to Hell…wait a---

Matt:  hack hack hack hack

Jay:  I bet you get to Hell long before me, “Coughing Up a Lung Boy.”

Matt:  Cute...Anyhoo, if we do a churc-----

click click click click

Matt:  You’re typing and not paying attention at all to what I am saying.
Jay:  Noooooooo, that was me clicking my pen…no, seriously.
Matt:  Okay then, we coul--
Jay:  Ooooooo, Warrior Kat just tweeted me.
Matt:  Jeeeeesus….Jo’s post was awesome.
Jay:  Oh Hell yeahhhh….Of course, Jo could have simply posted the alphabet and it would have been hot.
Matt:  And just think if she had posted the Cyrillic alphabet?
Jay:  Awwww man, that would have made me an Ottomaniac!!

Matt:  So Sunday at Noon, if it doesn’t snow, we’ll do a show on organized religion and why it sucks..?
Jay:  Amen to dat!!
Matt:  Praise Jeebus and pass the BTR.  And we coul--

click click click click

Matt:  Nevermind.  Talk to ya soonly.
Jay:  Will do…Hey did you know that if you stacked (name deleted), (name deleted), and (name deleted) on top of each other, that they would make up a man of average height?
Matt:  I love you.

click click click click

Jay:  I love too, Mom.

Matt:  I think we're ready.
Jay:  Damn right.
Matt:  Word...

click click click click

Make sure to catch Jayman and Matt-Man at their new weekend time, Sunday at High Noon ET.  Itsa gunna be a hoot!!

8 comments:

I'm With Stupid said...

You know, I'm sensing a little anger here. Like you think I'm easily distra OOOOOO Emily Blunt is on Leno! Cool.

What were you saying? *checks phone*

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Jayman: I have no anger; only love. It's brilliant minds like yours who choose not to strike out in anger, but rather, click their pens while waiting on me to quit coughing...or something.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

Jo said...

ж И Б в П н у Ф л Л й

Time to get your Ottoman on.

Hooray for Sundays! I won't break my fast until I've had my IWS. Er, that's not actually true because I get a little hypoglycemic but I'm totally there in spirit.

I'm With Stupid said...

Jo: I picked up a case of hypoglycemia from a chick once. Praise the power of penicillin!! Cheers Jo!!

Matt-Man

Mike said...

Will there still be a pee break with Schmoop?

Dana said...

Don't go thinking you are special Matt, every time I've google-talked with Jay I've gotten that same click click click click

See you tomorrow morning!

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: I try not to pee on Sundays...It just doesn't seem right, but maybe I'll have too much sacramental wine and there will be. Cheers Mike!!

I'm With Stupid said...

Dana: Are you telling me, that he click cheats on me? That hurts. Cheers and see ya there Dana!! Cheers!!