I have to apologize to all the devoted readers and listeners of the IWS website and radio show, and…I have to apologize to the IWS Worldwide Media Group as well.
No expense was spared in sending yours truly to Mesa, AZ., in order to cover Wednesday night’s CNN GOP Presidential debate and interview Rick Santorum, and how did I return the favor and show pride in my job?
After prepping for my debate coverage all morning and compiling questions for Rick Santorum while listening to the white noise from the TV that was airing scrambled video of porn movies within the confines of my luxurious room at the Motel 6 Mesa North, I felt confined. So…
Needing some fresh air, I walked down W. Hampton Ave., when I came across an interesting watering hole in the wall known merely as, “Manny’s.”
It was only 9:08 A.M., but being from the Eastern Time Zone, it was damn near eleven thirty, so I ducked in for a cold one, or as the clientele inside of Manny’s says, “Una Fria, por favor.”
After three Boilermakers (or as the crowd at Manny’s now calls them, Loco Gringos), each consisting of a 24 ounce Steel Reserve and four shots of Crown Royal, I felt the need to get away from the dim lighting, the dark skin, and the hemp filled air of Manny’s, and get some fresh air.
After all, It was 10:30 on a Mesa, Arizona morning prior to the debate, and I needed to get the word on the street by interviewing some real voters in order to gauge where they stood, electoral wise.
But first…
I had to go back into Manny’s, because I had forgotten to take a leak…
So, after peeing into a toilet that smelled of ancient Tenochtitlan and zipping up far too soon, I had one more Loco Gringo with my new found buddies on my way out, prior to initiating some, “man on the street” type journalism.
Let me tell ya…I interviewed a couple of dozen fine folks of Mesa, AZ., and forty five minutes later when I looked at my notes? I couldn’t decipher, interpret, or otherwise figure out what the hell they had said to me, and what I had written.
I needed some food…and quickly.
As happenstance would have it, I had apparently been doing interviews some three blocks away from Manny’s in front of a Mom and Pop establishment known as, “Crazy Jose’s Pawn Shop and Taquiera.”
I ordered the Numero Siete… A fish taco, a beef taco, and five Coronas. Upon consumption, and after a bit of Montezuma’s Revenge, I felt alive again.
I began to ramble back to my motel room by retracing my drunken path, when a couple of guys outside of Manny’s stopped me, and began to give me the business.
They claimed I owed them money…said that the IWS Credit Card was no good. Pfffffft.
After Iscreamed like a little school girl kicked the shit out of the ruffians and the police showed up, the fine officers of the Mesa Police Department incarcerated their sorry asses, and took me to my motel.
It was 2:30 PM by then, and I had missed my interview time with Rick Santorum. So, I took a nap until it was time to go to the debate.
I showed up, listened, yawned, and then excused myself to the restroom, where I evacuated what was left of the Numero Siete, and walked out back of the Mesa Arts Center. I waited for Santorum to come out after the debate.
When he did, I broke through his entourage, shove my mic in his face, and asked…
“Why do you oppose hot, freaky sex outside of marriage on Biblical grounds when Lot dorked his daughters and King David was a raging homo?”
With a look of puzzlement that quickly turned to anger, he said to me…
“Fuck You!!”
And that my friends, is why in spite of my shortcomings, I should get a Pulitzer Prize. I managed to make Rick Santorum say a dirty word.
So let it be written; so let it be done.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
email: neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter: @mattmaniws
No expense was spared in sending yours truly to Mesa, AZ., in order to cover Wednesday night’s CNN GOP Presidential debate and interview Rick Santorum, and how did I return the favor and show pride in my job?
After prepping for my debate coverage all morning and compiling questions for Rick Santorum while listening to the white noise from the TV that was airing scrambled video of porn movies within the confines of my luxurious room at the Motel 6 Mesa North, I felt confined. So…Needing some fresh air, I walked down W. Hampton Ave., when I came across an interesting watering hole in the wall known merely as, “Manny’s.”
It was only 9:08 A.M., but being from the Eastern Time Zone, it was damn near eleven thirty, so I ducked in for a cold one, or as the clientele inside of Manny’s says, “Una Fria, por favor.”
After three Boilermakers (or as the crowd at Manny’s now calls them, Loco Gringos), each consisting of a 24 ounce Steel Reserve and four shots of Crown Royal, I felt the need to get away from the dim lighting, the dark skin, and the hemp filled air of Manny’s, and get some fresh air.
After all, It was 10:30 on a Mesa, Arizona morning prior to the debate, and I needed to get the word on the street by interviewing some real voters in order to gauge where they stood, electoral wise.
But first…
I had to go back into Manny’s, because I had forgotten to take a leak…
So, after peeing into a toilet that smelled of ancient Tenochtitlan and zipping up far too soon, I had one more Loco Gringo with my new found buddies on my way out, prior to initiating some, “man on the street” type journalism.
Let me tell ya…I interviewed a couple of dozen fine folks of Mesa, AZ., and forty five minutes later when I looked at my notes? I couldn’t decipher, interpret, or otherwise figure out what the hell they had said to me, and what I had written.
I needed some food…and quickly.
As happenstance would have it, I had apparently been doing interviews some three blocks away from Manny’s in front of a Mom and Pop establishment known as, “Crazy Jose’s Pawn Shop and Taquiera.”
I ordered the Numero Siete… A fish taco, a beef taco, and five Coronas. Upon consumption, and after a bit of Montezuma’s Revenge, I felt alive again.
I began to ramble back to my motel room by retracing my drunken path, when a couple of guys outside of Manny’s stopped me, and began to give me the business.
They claimed I owed them money…said that the IWS Credit Card was no good. Pfffffft.
After I
It was 2:30 PM by then, and I had missed my interview time with Rick Santorum. So, I took a nap until it was time to go to the debate.
I showed up, listened, yawned, and then excused myself to the restroom, where I evacuated what was left of the Numero Siete, and walked out back of the Mesa Arts Center. I waited for Santorum to come out after the debate.
When he did, I broke through his entourage, shove my mic in his face, and asked…
“Why do you oppose hot, freaky sex outside of marriage on Biblical grounds when Lot dorked his daughters and King David was a raging homo?”With a look of puzzlement that quickly turned to anger, he said to me…
“Fuck You!!”
And that my friends, is why in spite of my shortcomings, I should get a Pulitzer Prize. I managed to make Rick Santorum say a dirty word.
So let it be written; so let it be done.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
email: neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter: @mattmaniws
7 comments:
I put IWS Worldwide Media Group in google and got 247 million hits! Wow. Then I thought to put quotes around the name.
Mike: Ha...Are saying that perhaps those 247 million hits weren't directed at us? Cheers Mike!!
Matt-Man
Max: Indeed, but far more of a douche than human. Cheers Max!!
Matt-Man
Wow! This should be a big scandal all across the cable news media. And Drudge should be linking to this story with the siren going off too.
But, since the lame stream media is sooooo jealous of us, they will try to suppress this story exposing the REAL Rick Santorum.
Jay
Jay: It is a sad statement about the world of journalism and media today, when both the mainstream news outlets and Blog Talk Radio try to keep us down for being so damn successful. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
there is a tinge of thompson in this post....
its never a matter of who wouldnt wanna get shitfaced and proceed to cover a story. no its more who has the balls to do so.
Jack: Well, I appreciate that. I try to be as drunk and as awesome as HST as often as I can. Cheers Jack!!
Matt-Man
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