Lou Dobbs Hates Dr. Seuss, Brown People and Iran

So, Lou Dobbs continues to fit in with his fellow crazies at Fox News. Now he’s decided that Dr. Seuss is dangerous to children. He complained that the new movie The Lorax is “Hollywood indoctrinating our children!”

So, I thought I would share with you Lou Dobbs’ own version of his favorite Dr. Seuss poem.

I am Lou

I am Lou
Lou I am

That Lou-I-am
That Lou-I-am!
I do not like
that Lou-I-am

Do you like
brown people and Iran?

I do not like them,
Lou-I-am.
I do not like
brown people and Iran.

Would you like them
Here or there?

They are illegal here
And terrorists there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
brown people and Iran.
I do not like them,
Lou-I-am

Would you like them
in a house?
Would you like them
with a mouse?

They live a dozen to a house.
In Iran they strap a bomb to a mouse.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like brown people and Iran.
I do not like them, Lou-I-am.

(…)

You do not like them.
SO you say.
Meet them! Meet them!
And you may.
Try them and you may I say
Lou!

If you will let me be,
I will meet them.
You will see.

Say!
I still don’t like brown people and Iran!
I don’t!! I hate them, Lou-I-am!
And I would throw them from a boat!
And I would feed them to a goat...
And I will kill them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And hang them from a tree.
They are so bad so evil you see!

So I will stuff them in a box.
And I will attack them with a fox.
And I will send the INS to their house.
And I will infect them with disease from a mouse.
And I will hate them here and there.
Say! I will KILL them ANYWHERE!

I do so hate
brown people and Iran!
Fuck you!
Fuck you,
Lou-I-am

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS