What IWS Fans Are Saying

Friday, January 20, 2012

Matt Said, Jay Said XXII


מאט מדבר, מדבר ג'יי, אתה מקשיב.

Matt: “Thank you for calling our happy home, Matt speaking.”
Jay: “Hi drunk, I’m Matt.”
Matt: “My God man, the sun hasn’t even set!”
Jay: “Is that a problem?”
Matt: “Don’t you have any social graces?”
Jay: “I reject society’s arbitrary unwritten rules.”
Matt: “I guess I just come from a better class of people.”
Jay: “You and Willard Romney.”
Matt: “Noooo … The Romney’s are so uncouth, I’m more like the Rothschild’s”

Matt: “We have a new mascot down at the Beer Mine.”
Jay: “Oh really? Is it of the blow up variety?”
Matt: “You sick fuck. No, it’s a stray cat who has adopted us.”
Jay: “Awwww how sweet.”
Matt: “She is sweet. I named her ‘Depot’ in honor of the name of the Mine.”
Jay: “That’s pretty clever. Did you get her some cat food?”
Matt: “Oh yeah, she’s got a food and water dish.”
Jay: “Does she have a little bed to sleep on.”
Matt: “Yup, she sleeps in the bathroom at night.”
Jay: “Cool. I can’t stand to see animals suffer.”
Matt: “Me neither.”


Jay: “Last Saturday’s show finally showed up in the rankings.”
Matt: “I know, but I still think we’re getting screwed.”
Jay: “You know, I was thinking.”
Matt: “Jay, beer thoughts are usually bad thoughts.”
Jay: “No, no this is good.”
Matt: “Alright.”
Jay: “You’ve got over 300 ‘friends’ on Facebook, right?”
Matt: “Yeah, and I know where you’re going here.”
Jay: “Combined we have like 500 friends.”
Matt: “And if they all just HIT PLAY we would move further up the board.”
Jay: “And get more exposure resulting in even MORE plays.”
Matt: “They wouldn’t even have to listen if they didn’t want to.”
Jay: “Exactly! Even though they should cause we’re fucking funny.”
Matt: “Oh hell yes. But, they could listen once, and then just play a second time.”
Jay: “Right, even I don’t listen to us twice.”
Matt: “Noooo ... Usually I turn it on and say ‘Shut up assholes!’”
Jay: “Yeah, I yell ‘Not these fucking guys again!’ at the computer.”
Matt: “Anyway, hitting #1 once would be cool.”
Jay: “I know. And those 9 or 10 shows ahead of us all suck.”
Matt: “Have you listened to them?”
Jay: “No. I’m just bitter because I’ve never been #1 in anything.”
Matt: “No more beer for you.”
Jay: “Why?”
Matt: “Because you’re drinking SADdweiser.”

Jay: “What are we talking about on Saturday’s show?”
Matt: “Why women suck?”
Jay: “That’s perfect. A couple more beers and I’ll have enough material by myself.”
Matt: “Okay Jay, that’s really enough drinking for today.”
Jay: “You’re not my mother.”
Matt: “Time to take a nap.”
Jay: “I don’t need a nap.”
Matt: “No, I was talking about me.”
Jay: “Oh! Nite, nite.”
Matt: “Goodnight.”

So there you go folks. Genius in action. Also, don’t forget to listen to I’m With Stupid on Saturday at 11 PM ET as we talk about Why Women Suck!

6 comments:

Mike said...

Jay: “I reject society’s arbitrary unwritten rules.”

Ooooooohhhhh yeeeaaaahhhhhh.

Gnetch said...

How much did you drink, Jay? Why didn't you share some????

I'm With Stupid said...

That's some funny shit right there, boy. Cheers Jayman!!

Matt-Man

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: To hell with the rules!

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Gnetch: There's plenty! Come on over!

Jay

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt-Man: We're just funny guys.

Jay