Saturday, October 22, 2011

Matt Said, Jay Said X


Matt: “I guess if I don’t answer you’ll just keep calling.”
Jay: “Just like a crazy obsessed girlfriend.”
Matt: “That brings back bad memories.”
Jay: “Had a few of those in the past have you?”
Matt: “No, I’ve been the crazy one receiving the restraining order.”
Jay: “I’m proud of all my restraining orders. I use them for wallpaper.”
Matt: “I use them for toilet paper. But, I’m big into recycling.”

Matt: “It’s The Creepy Kid Next Door's birthday weekend. He might call in.”
Jay: “That’s awesome. Hard to believe he’s already 17. And growing like a week.”
Matt: “And, I might have a really hot YOUNG chick to call in and sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him.”
Jay: “Sweet! Can you get her to sing ‘I Touch Myself’ to us after?”
Matt: “You sick fuck.”

Jay: “Hey, there’s a great game on ESPN tonight. Too bad you don’t have a TV.”
Matt: “Now that was just hurtful. And uncalled for.”
Jay: “Well, that ‘sick fuck’ line hit a little too close to home this time.”
Matt: “Sometimes, you just have to accept reality.”
Jay: “Fuck that. Reality sucks. I make my own reality.”
Matt: “I understand. I do the same from time to time.”
Jay: “It’s the only thing that eases the pain.”

Matt: “Uh-oh! Guess who it is.”
Jay: “Who?”
Matt: “It’s Angry MailMAAAAAAAANNNNNN!”
Jay: “The only guy more pissed at the world than Matt-Man.”
Matt: “Yeah, well at least he gets to carry Mace.”
Jay: “That’s cool. It’s legal there? Cause it’s illegal here and many places actually.”
Matt: “But, loaded firearms are okay, right?”
Jay: “Definitely. You can take your loaded Glock .40 to church even.”
Matt: “Here, you can take a concealed gun to a bar, but don’t you dare light up a cigarette.”
Jay: “Selling drugs on street corners is okay, but smoking in the park is brazen lawlessness that won’t be tolerated.”
Matt: “We have our priorities.”

Jay: “Blog is getting lots and lots of hits this week.”
Matt: “Posting the link to Reddit is paying off big.”
Jay: “That’s an awesome site. Lots of great stuff on there.”
Matt: “Yeah, apparently I’m not allowed to post there anymore.”
Jay: “Damn, that sucks.”
Matt: *sigh* “Just one more thing that’s gone wrong this week.”
Jay: “Woe is Matt.”
Matt: “Don’t I know it.”
Jay: “Well, we could hold a big Self-Pity Party on this week’s show.”
Matt: “That’s not a bad idea. Hell, you won’t have to do much for this one.”
Jay: “Except just talk about the sadness that is my life.”
Matt: “I hear ya.”
Jay: “So, you wanna do that?”
Matt: “Yeah! Let’s do it.”

So there you go! We’ll be hosting a Self-Pity Party on Saturday at 6:30 pm EDT for anyone who wants to join in. But first, The Creepy Kid Next Door will call in for some Happy Birthday Wishes. You’ll want to be there for this one! It’s going to be a roller coaster of emotions.


I'm With Stupid said...

Highs, lows, joys , and heartache... this show is going to have it all. Sometimes I wonder how the hell we pull this shit off. Amazing. Cheers Jayman!!


Dana said...

DAMMIT! I missed the Self-Pity Party?? Probably the only party I could ever be the life of too! Oh well ... off to the wallflower archives I go ...