Hi Gang!! IWS Sports Director Slyder Balzcock here with your opening weekend NFL preview.The Season of the Pigskin kicked off last night as the defending Super Bowl Champion, Green Bay Packhers, defeated the News Orlean Saints 42-34 on the frozen tundra of Hambone Field.
It was good to finally see some rough and tumble shoulder pad to shoulder pad action after spending the summer wondering if the NFL owners blackout would prevent this season from ever taking place.
Thank God, that after months of rumors of a football famine, the players and owners came to the dinner table, broke bread together, and to football fans everywhere, served up one helluva meal deal.
Of course, there has been one huge change in the NFL this year. As I reviewed this week’s match-up of NFL games, I was amazed by the number of new franchises in the league this year.
For instance…This week, Seal Team 6 tangles with Dub’s Dudes in a gridiron struggle that pits an aggressive group of terrorist killers against a scrappy bunch of trailer home dwelling boobie lovers. Look out Dub’s Dudes, after this week, you may want to change your name to the Dead Bin Ladens.
In what looks to be a high scoring affair, the Matt Castle led HM Giggle Fairies take on the Memphis Blues helmed by up and comer Josh Friedman, or as I call him, the Beale Street Jew. I’ll take a Jew over a Fairy anytime, as long as I don’t have to sit next to either. The Blues by two.
In what could be a blowout, The Flam-a-Diddle Cheesy Poofs throw hands with Team Terrell. Team Terrell, is owned by The Official Hot Mess of IWS, Sunshine State Shirley. Shirley’s team will beat the Flam-a-Diddles like a drum, and be spitting out pieces of Cheesy Poofs during their post-game victory party.
Our very own Jayman and his Stalkers led by Wide Receiver James “Throw Me Da Ball” Jones will be trying to keep offensive pace with Phillip Rivers and his, I Touchdown There turf mates. This one’s a toss-up, fans, but Stalkers RB, Noshow Moreno could be the goat or the gift.
Lastly…The Cleveland Steamers and Michael Vick take on Matt-Man’s Steel Reserves. This match up leaves me with more questions than answers. Is shit stronger than beer? And more importantly…When did the Philadelphia Steelers trade Michael Vick to Cleveland?
That’s all for now, sports fans…
This is Slyder Balzcock leaving it all on the field and heading for the showers.
Ed. Note: Matt-Man here…um…When Slyder asked for this week’s NFL game schedule, I sent him the I’m With Stupid Fantasy Football League schedule as a joke.
I thought Slyder would pick up on that. I apologize, and have scheduled a 2:45 PM meeting with Slyder.
6 comments:
Great breakdown of week one from good old Slyder. Dude is the best in the business. No doubt about it.
Jay: That's what the meeting is about, well, that...and that I think he needs to put up more pictures of himself when he posts. Cheers!!
Matt-Man
Ha! Very funny! Slyder will never pick up on the obvious Matt;)
Beth: That's because he is deeper than most. He's very intense. Cheers!!
Matt-Man
Again it was off to the UD .... (no not uterine device, urban dictionary!!!) to look up Steel Reserves. I didn't think this would be possible but it seems it's a few steps below WIR.
Mike: I like Steel Reserve a lot. It provides a nice warm buzz. I don't like to go full out Rose buzz ALL the time. Cheers!!
Matt-Man
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