Saturday, August 20, 2011

Matt Said, Jay Said

Hola people of the internet!  For a while now, Matt-Man and I, the Jayman (Doesn’t that sound really pretentious putting “the” in front of Jayman? Yeah, I don’t think I’ll do that again.) have talked about how we should just tape out weekly show prep session and use it for our I’m With Stupid podcast. But since I don’t have any phone recording equipment, I decided to start taking notes for a new feature here on the blog. So, welcome to the inaugural edition of “Matt Said, Jay Said.”

Matt: *ring* “YeeHAWWWWWWW!”
Jay: “Hola you sick fuck!” (“sick fuck” being a term of endearment)
Matt: “Phobia show this week, right?”
Jay: “Huh? Yeah, phobias”
Matt: “You’re already distracted?”
Jay: “No, I’m taking notes for a new feature on the blog ‘Matt Said, Jay Said’ to post on Saturdays since we don’t post anything on that day.”
Matt: “That’s a good idea.”
Jay: “I thought so”
Matt: “You’re so damn humble”
Jay: “I know. It’s how I was raised. So anyway, I’m taking notes so say something fucking funny.”
Matt: “Just use something I said in the past if you have to.”
Jay: “Cool.”

Matt: “I made Cobb Salad last night. But without the chicken.”
Jay: “What did you use?”
Matt: “Fried bologna. It helps me keep my svelte figure.”
Jay: “I admire your commitment to nutritional excellence.”
Matt: “Schmoop cuts up the lettuce. I’ll be on the computer and she’ll be in the kitchen and then all the sudden she’s cussing the lettuce. GAWD DAMMIT STAY STILL!”
Jay: “Ha! ‘Cussing the Lettuce.’  That’s a great euphemism. I’m gonna ask her on Twitter right now if she ‘Cussed the Lettuce’ last night.
Schmoop (via Twitter): “What’s that ass been telling you?”
Matt: “Hee Hee … She’s probably saying ‘You guys suck!’”
Schmoop (via Twitter 2 minutes later): “You guys suck!” 

Jay: “Did you see how much these GOP candidates are worth? Bachmann is worth $2.8 million, Huntsman $17.8 million and Romney up to $250 million.”
Matt: “Why would anyone worth that much want to be president. If I had two million I’d be sitting here on my couch watching the view being fed hotdogs by exotic babes.”
Jay: “Exactly. Well, maybe not watching the view. I know you have a thing for Joy Behar though.”
Matt: “She is pretty hot.” 

Jay: “Instead, I’ll just sit here and stare at this pic of Ellen Page. She’s a pretty damn cute lesbian (
Matt: “She is.”
Jay: “Such a pretty face.”
Matt: “Oh yeah. She’s just damn pretty.  No Scarlett Johansson, but still cute.”
Jay: “Yeah, very true. Okay, so phobias right?”
Matt: “Yup, Phobias. Heights, spiders, snakes, bridges all that stuff.”
Jay: “Yeah, and our listeners all suffer from phonephobia. Haha!”
Matt: “And escalators. Lots of people are afraid of those.”
Jay: “And maybe I’ll make a few up.”
Matt: “Good idea.”
Jay: “Okay, so good show prep!”
Matt: “Hell yeah! Very professional.”

So there you have it! That’s how the magic is made. And don’t forget, we’ll be talking Phobias and Fears tonight on “I’m With Stupid” at 6:30 EDT.


Mike said...

Robert would be proud of you.

I'm With Stupid said...

There really needs to be a porn music soundtrack playing behind this transcript. Cheers!!


I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: Actually, I'm worried that Robert will sue.

Matt-Man: Either that, or it should be the material for a dramatic reading in a coffee shop.

- Jay

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