Nurse Sherri: Hell No I'm Not Apologizing To Jay And Matt !!

Hi Nurse Sherri here...I promised to take a Mother's Day call from Matt and Jay last Sunday, but I'll be go to hell, I forgot all about it, so...

I have promised them that I would exploit this week's IWS Radio show. Is exploit the right word? Perhaps not...maybe it's promote...yeah, I think that's it...promote. Whatever.

These two are soooooo fucking sensitive. Ooooooooo yeah, big internet radio stars, and can't handle it when a nobody like me disses them. Ha...Who's the nobody now boys?  Uh-huh.

Anyway, Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team are going to do yet another show tomorrow and they haven't rehearsed, practiced, nor really given any thought to it, because poor little Matty Boy is tired and wanted to "unplug."

Such a pussy...anyhoo...here is what they say about it..

Jay and Matt are taking some time to unplug and unwind on IWS Radio. After years of building a successful podcast and world and media entertainment empire, which has culminated in a myriad of public appearances and walks down the red carpet with celebrities, the dynamic duo are taking time to catch their collective breath and enjoy the show.

With Jay in his birthday suit, and Matt sipping on some Rose, they will be walking down IWS Radio Memory Lane chatting spontaneously with you and each other.  They will revisit some of the best and worst calls, guests, music, and audio clips ever broadcast on the 300+ episodes of IWS Radio.

There is no filter, no time limit, and no rules on this show, so join the fun and call-in with your thoughts and memories at 661.244.9852 as IWS Radio presents...Jay and Matt: Unplugged.

Sounds like another hilarious IWS Radio show, but for Godsakes, they should have titled it, The Girly Man Getting Tired Show. Pussies.

Anyway, make sure you listen LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio as IWS Radio presents: Jay and Matt: Unplugged.

I promise to call-in, and then not do it.  Hee...but seriously...you can catch all of the IWS hilarity LIVE by clicking HERE!!

Valentine's Day 2014, Best and Worst Gift Ideas

Cheeeeeeeers Bitches and a Happy Tuesday to you all.

Not only is today Tuesday, it is January 14th which means not only is it, Dress Up Your Pet Day for those of you who are so inclined to embarrass your pet by dressing him or her up, but…

January 14th is also, One Month Before the Day You Either Get Hot Sex or Smacked in the Face by Your Wife/Girlfriend/Mistress on Valentine’s Day Day.

That’s right guys, you have thirty days to prepare for the onslaught of sneers, jeers, or cheers that you receive from the woman in your life and her femme friends. So, I am here to make certain that you will hear nothing but cheers.

Oh, and you ladies who have been directed to this blog entry?  Disregard it, because well, as well all know, you do nothing on Valentine’s Day other than bitch about what you didn’t get from that special man in your life, so…

To wit and heretofore, are my best and worst gift ideas for the guys to buy for Valentine’s Day 2014...

Yesterday, I mentioned flowers in a Facebook comment of mine, women seem to dig flowers.  Terrible idea.

Flowers are temporary, die quickly, and with their death, so does your relationship.  If you want to give a woman something that temporarily fills them up, yet leaves them satisfied, send them a grilled ham ‘n’ cheese sandwich and some fries.  And?

Knowing my buddy Jayman as I do, he would say…

“And don’t go on the cheap, send them a fresh, crisp pickle spear along with it!!”

Some guys are goaded feel like because they are pussy whipped they have to want to go big time into buying overpriced jewelry for Valentine’s Day…Don’t…Do…It!! Bad gift idea.

When a guy buys his honey fancy jewelry, she will at first go nutsy Fagan all over it, but then she will pause, and think…

“That lying bastard must be cheating on me in order to buy me something this fancy.”

If you do want to buy your lady something shiny to wear, buy her a pair of steely, sparkling handcuffs.

Along with the cuffs, you could give her a sweet card that reads…

“You have made my heart your prisoner, and now, will you please be mine?”  See?  That’s HOT!!

And if she doesn’t like them, you can always give them to your mistress, which was your final intention and hope anyway.

Speaking of mistresses…If you have a wife and a mistress, be a good guy and gift give equally.  You don’t want to hurt the feelings of either of them, so…

Give them the same gift.

Buy each of them a ticket for a seven day Caribbean cruise so while both are asea, you can pick up a new girlfriend in addition to your mistress and wife, thereby completing the hat trick, Holy Trinity, and batting for the cycle of lewd behavior.

Just make sure the tickets for the wife and mistress are for different cruises. You wouldn't want your wife and mistress to spontaneously meet, talk nonchalantly, and during their friendly discourse, discover that you were the one who bought both tickets.

And?  If all of this advice is too much to digest and seems too complicated for you guys out there, do what my BFF Schmoop and I do on Valentine’s Day.

Order a pizza, drink some beer, peruse Facebook, and laugh at all of the posts reflecting the joy and sadness of which ladies got the bonanza, and which ladies got the heartache.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
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