The Food Network...A Rebuttal by Carrie Welch

Dear Mr. Jason Adams,

It has come to my attention via the slow roasted goodness of the internet that you may or may not be happy with our buffet of more than flavorful shows.

I received a tasty e-mail yesterday which provided my palette with a link to your deliciously funny and obviously tongue-in-sushi on the cheek take on the Food Network, delightfully titled, The Food Network Sucks.

Oh sure you call us pretentious where food is concerned but we always have an appetite for a laugh or two as when Alton Brown referred to a Cornish game hen as a, “chicken who obviously smoked at a young age…”

Ha!!  So funny.  Oh that Alton!!

Alton can bull’s-eye a punchline just as adroitly as he can stuff a bird with a mixture of winter wheat, sorghum sugar, and his very own, Alton Sauce de la Ego which you can purchase online for $19.95 per dram. He is that good.

I could tell through the less-than-seasoned layers of your post, that you harbor some ill-will toward us.

Perhaps it’s because you are an amateur cook, and don’t recognize that we are trying to not only inform less than professional cooks as to how to make a good meal, but want to help you to realize that what the Food Network recognizes as good food, is what you should be eating.

And the recipes of what you should be eating are not only available on our daily 24/7cable shows, but available on CD-ROM and book form at our Food Network site, which you can access by clicking, The Food Network.

We can always quibble as to the likeability of Guy Fieri…the hotness of Giada de Laurentiis, or the annoyance level of one fat ass, Rachel Ray.

What is not open for debate is the culinary pleasure, the palatability of our shows, and the amount of quality entertainment at a fair price that we to offer you, the cable TV consumer.

Jason, we respect your comments and will indeed set up focus groups in order to determine the level of agreement of your remarks amongst our general viewers, and determine the efficacy of your rantings may or may not have amongst our primary 30-50 year old, upscale demographic, but we will do it mainly because…

To make sure you are not batshit crazy, giving us the business, and because we here at the Food Network figure that 30 Minute Meals are what people like…Triple D with Guy is a guilty pleasure if only for the food, and Giada’s tits are not only watchable, but in keeping with our network theme, edible as well, and we think we have a successful formula, yet always looking to improve as well….we will take a second look at your concerns.

We appreciate you taking the time to address our programming scheduling and will be in touch with your law firm you soon.

Sincerely,
Carrie Welch
VP of Public Relations of the Television Food Network

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Nice to get Carrie’s letter and also…

Yesterday Jayman and Matt-Man made people smile and brightened the internet airwaves as they had another stellar IWS Radio Show on Blog Talk Radio.  If you missed them making fun of Mitt Romney and Adam Corolla, you can catch it all right here:

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com