Saturday, February 8, 2014

Saying Goodbye to Jay Leno on MSJS

Matt: Holaaaaaaaaaaa!
Jay: Cheers!!!
Matt: How the hell are ya?
Jay: I’m cold dammit! That’s how I am!
Matt: YOU’RE COLD? Try shoveling snow every other day.
Jay: You enjoy that shit.
Matt: Enjoy-ED! Past tense buddy. This is bullshit!
Jay: You got that right.
Matt: I’m tired of 20 layers of clothes.
Jay: And wondering if the car will start.
Matt: And frozen ears, noses and fingers.
Jay: And shriveled up ball sacks.
Matt: We could have done without that visual.
Jay: Gotta let the people know how bad it is.
Matt: Well, true dat. How’s your parking lot?
Jay: Tara Lipinski could do a skating routine on it.
Matt: That would be fun to see.

Jay: Oh dude! Speaking of the Olympics…
Matt: Were we?
Jay: Kind of.
Matt: Okay, carry on then.
Jay: Ludmila Privivkova isn’t on the Russian Curling team this time!
Matt: Oh no!!!
Jay: IKR? I’m devastated.
Matt: What happened?
Jay: I guess she got too old and couldn’t keep up.
Matt: Sports is brutal on people as they age.
Jay: Yeah, curling is probably hard on the knees.
Matt: And the elbows and wrists pushing that broom so hard.
Jay: Sad to see the greats leave the game though.
Matt: True. Hey, did she ever approve your Facebook friend request?
Jay: No!
Matt: So rude!
Jay: IKR? That’s okay though, I dumped her.
Matt: Oh really? For whom?
Jay: I sent her replacement Anna Sidorova a friend request today.
Matt: Well done sir!

Jay: Well it only makes sense to do that right before Valentine’s Day.
Matt: You make a good point.
Jay: Just like it only makes sense to talk love and shit this week on IWS.
Matt: Dude! You’re on a roll!
Jay: We really need to blow the lid of this bullshit V-Day crap.
Matt: Oh we’re going too!
Jay: Drew Peacock might have some thoughts on it.
Matt: You know Paul Piatt does.
Jay: Pfffffttt … V-Day is made for him!
Matt: And Slyder is covering the Olympics.
Jay: Of course! We MIGHT have a Smug report too.
Matt: That would be nice. Also? Aunt Jackie might do a song!
Jay: She as the voice of an angel dude!
Matt: That she does.
Jay: Buddy Acapella should do something too.
Matt: A medley of bad love songs.
Jay: That is freaking brilliant!
Matt: Word.
Jay: I’m sure we can get Bobby Kraft to chime in.
Matt: And Schmoop
Jay: And who knows what else we’ll come up with.
Matt: Our imagination knows no bounds.
Jay: True dat.
Matt: Damn this show is gonna RAWK!
Jay: I can’t wait!
Matt: Me either!

Also, Matt-Man and Jayman would like to take a moment to honor our friend and colleague Jay Leno as he ends his amazing 22 year run on the Tonight Show. Best of luck to you in the future and you have a standing invitation to join us on IWS Radio anytime you want!  

Tune into “It’s as Hot as an Oven in the Love Shack” Sunday at 8 pm ET and let’s give Valentine’s Day the treatment it deserves!


Mike said...

Anna Sidorova makes my toes start curling.

Katy Anders said...

I think it would be great if Leno went on your show and was funny. I mean, no one would be expecting him to be, but he's had decades to save up funny material, and since he's never used the good stuff and now finds himself out of a job, the time is ripe for it!

I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: She seems like a really nice girl.


I'm With Stupid said...

Katy: IKR? If he came on and was actually funny and didn't spend the whole time being condescending, maybe it could start a whole new career for him!