Friday, December 20, 2013

Phil Robertson Can Suck It!

Holaaaaaaaaaaaa! So, today has been a pretty shocking day. Too many more of these and I might look for a cave to go live in far away from society.  It all started this morning when I got up and began reading some stunning news.

It turns out that some old cracker who lives way back in the woods in Louisiana thinks gays are an abomination and recalls the good old days of Jack Crow laws before that pesky Civil Rights Act fondly.  I AM STUPIFIED! Who woulda thunk it? (BTW, if you haven’t read the article by Drew Magary, do so. It’s excellent.)

Well, don’t worry folks, I’m sure Sarah Palin fresh off her demands that MSNBC fire Martin Bashir for saying gross things about her will explain to us all that freedom of speech doesn’t mean that media companies have to just let their on air talent be assholes, right? RIGHT?

Uh, whatever. No biggie. The Ivy League educated governor of Louisiana Bobby Jindal will probably put out an intelligent statement that will help stop this from becoming an all-day outragathon. Here it is

“Phil Robertson and his family are great citizens of the State of Louisiana. The politically correct crowd is tolerant of all viewpoints, except those they disagree with. I don’t agree with quite a bit of stuff I read in magazine interviews or see on TV," Jindal said. "In fact, come to think of it, I find a good bit of it offensive. But I also acknowledge that this is a free country and everyone is entitled to express their views. In fact, I remember when TV networks believed in the First Amendment. It is a messed up situation when Miley Cyrus gets a laugh, and Phil Robertson gets suspended."

Wut? It’s wrong that Phil Robertson was suspended from Duck Dynasty because Miley Cyrus? That’s pretty much the stupidest fucking thing I’ve heard all year. God! I’m so glad we live in a country where nobody, no matter their political leanings, will pick up that idiotic analogy and run with it, right? RIGHT? *does quick search on Twitter for Phil Robertson Miley Cyrus*

Welp. Okay, whatever guys. I’m sure that the folks on the left will deal with this issue in a serious, mature and eloquent manner, right? RIGHT?

What the hell is wrong with everyone? Why do we as a nation have to lose our shit every single time something like this happens? A&E didn’t violate Phil Robertson’s 1st Amendment rights! He has no right to a TV show. A&E suspended him because they were afraid that advertisers would get nervous and it would cost them money. You know, the “free market?”  The same “free market” that forced MSNBC to fire Martin Bashir and Alec Baldwin.

Did A&E overreact? Probably. It’s pretty doubtful that there are very many people watching Duck Dynasty who don’t agree with Phil on these things. The people who don’t agree with him will probably keep watching because they like the show. Hell, the publicity from this will probably cause ratings and advertising rates to INCREASE. (It’s almost as if that is what they were aiming for!)

Anyway, I hope people have calmed down by tomorrow cause I’m getting tired of seeing all this crap about Duck Dynasty on my timelines on Facebook and Twitter. I swear if someone could make an outrage pill I could sell it on a street corner and be as rich as Phil Robertson in no time. That shit makes people go longer and harder than any HGH, crack, meth or Viagra ever could.

Besides, I have much more important things to lose my shit over. I found out today that our local KFC has closed! OH THE HUMANITY!!!!


I'm With Stupid said...

Your KFC closed? That's bullshit. Is there someone we can boycott?


Mike said...

I vaguely knew of duck dynasty before the dummy's comment. Now I know way more than I care to know.

Dana said...

It's that pesky freedom of speech does NOT mean freedom from accountability thing. I blame is all on social media ...

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt-Man: I'm gonna find out! IWS will not stand for this shit!


I'm With Stupid said...

Mike: I've seen a couple of episodes and found it to be mildly amusing but I don't watch it regularly. I'm more of a "Swamp People" man myself.


I'm With Stupid said...

Dana: I'm pretty tired of people screaming "freedom of speech" only when they want to defend bigots. It's really getting old.

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