Monday, December 30, 2013

2014: New Year, New Attitude! (Kinda)

Hola bitches! It’s almost 2014 and websites are out there giving everyone great advice on how to make this next year your best year EVAH! Here are some suggestions from a site called MindBodyGreen with my response in italics …

1. Let go of all thoughts that don't make you feel empowered and strong. … Okay

2. Let go of feeling guilty for doing what you truly want to do. … This one is aimed at Pee Wee Herman and Fred Willard.

3. Let go of the fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself. … What about the known unknowns? Or the unknown knowns?

4. Let go of regrets; at one point in your life, that “whatever” was exactly what you wanted. … We’ll see.

5. Let go of worrying; worrying is like praying for what you don’t want. … What do you have against praying? Freaking atheist.

6. Let go of blaming anyone for anything; be accountable for your own life. If you don’t like something, you have two choices, accept it or change it. … LOL! Like that’s gonna happen.

7. Let go of thinking you are damaged; you matter, and the world needs you just as you are. … Oh now the whole damn world needs me? I can’t handle that level of stress!

8. Let go of thinking your dreams are not important; always follow your heart. … I recently dreamed that I clobbered Vladimir Putin with my mother’s walking cane.  

9. Let go of being the “go-to person” for everyone, all the time; stop blowing yourself off and take care of yourself first … because you matter. … I’m nobody’s “go-to person” and it hurts.

10. Let go of thinking everyone else is happier, more successful or better off than you. You are right where you need to be. Your journey is unfolding perfectly for you. … But, they ARE!

11. Let go of thinking there's a right and wrong way to do things or to see the world. Enjoy the contrast and celebrate the diversity and richness of life. … IT’S MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY BITCHES!

12. Let go of cheating on your future with your past. It’s time to move on and tell a new story. … Hey now! I’m no cheater!

13. Let go of thinking you are not where you should be. You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go. … I want to go to the strip club.

14. Let go of anger toward ex lovers and family. We all deserve happiness and love; just because it is over doesn’t mean the love was wrong. … Fuck them!

15. Let go of the need to do more and be more; for today, you've done the best you can, and that's enough. … This blog post is the very best I could do and it’s okay!

16. Let go of thinking you have to know how to make it happen; we learn the way on the way. … I don’t know how to make it happen, but I can make it rain at the strip club!

17. Let go of your money woes — make a plan to pay off debt and focus on your abundance. … But, I don't have any money woes because I don't have any money!!   

18. Let go of trying to save or change people. Everyone has her own path, and the best thing you can do is work on yourself and stop focusing on others. … Oh sure, become a selfish bastard!

19. Let go of trying to fit in and be accepted by everyone. Your uniqueness is what makes you outstanding. … You say “uniqueness” others say “creepiness.”

20. Let go of self-hate. You are not the shape of your body or the number on the scale. Who you are matters, and the world needs you as you are. Celebrate you! … But self-hate is what gets me out of bed in the mornings and is what drives me to be …. Well, ME!

Yeah, I’ll get right on that guys.


Mike said...

Well I let go. Now I gotta go change my pants.

I'm With Stupid said...

I just want a can of REAL Beefaroni this year. Cheers!!


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